"My
daughter,The Book of Heaven
http://casimir.kuczaj.free.fr/Orange/angielski.html
Volume 3 audio
While I was in my usual state, I suddenly found myself out of my body, inside a church.
There was a priest celebrating the Divine Sacrifice.
He cried bitterly and said:
"The column of my Church has no place to rest!"
As he said this, I saw a column whose top touched the sky.
At the base of this column were priests, bishops, cardinals and other dignitaries. They supported the column. I was watching very closely.
To my surprise, I saw that, among these people,
-one was very weak,
-another half-putrefied,
-another cripple,
-another covered with mud.
Very few were in condition to support the column.
As a result, this poor column wobbled.
She couldn't stand firm because of the blows she was getting down.
At its summit stood the Holy Father who,
-with gold chains and rays emanating from all his person, did everything he could
-to stabilize the column and
-to tie up and illuminate people who were below
(although a few escaped to be freer to rot or become muddier).
He also strove to tie and enlighten the whole world.
As I watched all this, the priest who celebrated Mass
(I think it was Our Lord, but I'm not sure) called me near him and He said to me:
"My daughter,
look at what pitiful state my Church is in!
The very people who should support it, are demolishing it. They beat her and go so far as to defame her.
The only remedy for me is to make a lot of Blood flow
-to form it as a bath in order to be able to
-wash this putrid mud and
-heal these deep wounds.
When, by this Blood,
-these people will be healed, strengthened and beautiful,
-they can be instruments capable of keeping my Church stable and firm."
He added:
"I called you to ask if you want
-be a victim and, thus,
-to be a guardian to support this column in these incorrigible times."
In the first place, I felt a shiver through me, because I was afraid of not having the strength.
Then I offered myself.
I saw myself surrounded by several saints, angels and souls from purgatory who, with whips and other instruments, tormented me.
At first, I was scared. Subsequently,
-the more I suffered, the more my desire to suffer increased, and
-I tasted the suffering like a very sweet nectar.
It came to me this thought:
"Who knows? Maybe these pains will be a way to consume my life and get me to take my last flight to my one Good! »
But after suffering hard, I saw, to my great regret, that this suffering did not consume my life.
O God, what a pain to see
may this fragile flesh prevent me from uniting with my eternal Good!
Then I saw a bloody massacre on the people who were at the bottom of the column.
What a horrible disaster!
Those who were not victims were very few.
The audacity of the enemies went as far as attempting to kill the Holy Father!
Then it seemed to me that
-this blood shed and these victims were the way to make those who remained strong,
-in such a way that they became able to support the column without it flickering.
Ah! How happy days arose afterwards!
Days of triumph and peace.
The face of the earth seemed renewed.
The column acquired its luster and its original splendor. From a distance, I greet these happy days that will give
so much glory to the Church and
so much honor to this God who is its head!
This morning my kind Jesus came and carried me out of my body inside a church.
Then he left me there, alone.
Finding myself in the presence of the Most Blessed Sacrament, I made my customary adoration.
In doing so, I was all eyes to see if I would not see my sweet Jesus.
Precisely, I saw him on the altar in the form of a child who called me with his graceful little Hands.
Who could have described my contentment?
I flew towards him and, without further thought, hugged him and kissed him.
But during these simple gestures, He took on a serious aspect.
He showed me that he didn't appreciate my kisses and started pushing me away. However, not paying attention to this, I went ahead and said to him:
My dear Love, the other day you wanted to manifest yourself to me with kisses and
kisses and I granted you complete freedom. Today, it is I who want to manifest myself to you. Ah! Grant me the freedom to do so! »
However, He continued to push me away. Seeing that I did not stop, He disappeared.
Who could say how mortified and anxious I was when I found myself in my body? A little later, He returned.
As I desired to ask his forgiveness for my impertinences,
He forgave me by showing me his tenderness. He said to me, kissing me:
"Delight of my heart, my Divinity dwells in you continuously.
As you invent new things to make my delights, so I want to do towards you." Thus, I understood that it was a joke that He had made to me.
My Jesus not having shown up this morning,
the devil tried to show himself to me by taking on the appearance of Jesus.
Not having perceived the usual effects, I began to have doubts. I signed myself, and then I drew the sign of the cross on him.
Seeing himself signed, the demon trembled.
I immediately pushed him away, without looking at him.
A little later, my dear Jesus came.
But, fearing that it is still the evil spirit,
I tried to push him away by invoking the help of Jesus and Mary. To reassure me, Jesus said to me:
"My daughter, to detect whether it is Me or not,
-your attention must be focused on the inner effects you feel,
-by asking you if they push you to virtue or vice.
For, being virtue,
-my Nature cannot communicate to my children anything but virtuous things."
My adorable Jesus carried me out of my body.
He showed me streets filled with human flesh. What carnage!
I'm horrified just thinking about it. He showed me something that had happened in the air. many died suddenly. This was in the month of March.
According to my habit, I prayed to him
-to keep calm and
-to protect one's own images from such cruel torments and bloody wars.
As he wore his crown of thorns,
I took it from him and placed it on my own head, in order to soothe him.
But, to my great sorrow,
I saw that almost all the thorns had remained broken on his Most Holy Head,
so that there was very little left to make me suffer.
Jesus was stern, almost without paying me any attention. He took me back to my bed.
I saw my arms outstretched and suffering the pains of the crucifixion. He took my arms, crossed them and tied them with a small golden rope.
Without trying to understand the meaning of this, and to break his stern air, I said to him: "My very sweet Love, I offer you
-the gestures of my body, -gestures that you yourself have made, and
-all the other gestures that I can make for the sole purpose of pleasing and glorifying you.
Oh, yes!
I want the movements
-of my eyelids, -of my lips and -of my whole being be made only to please you!
Grant, O good Jesus,
-may all my bones and nerves continually testify to my love for you! »
He said to me:
"Everything that is done for the sole purpose of pleasing me shines so brightly before me that it attracts my divine gaze. I love these acts so much,
-even if it is only to move an eyelid,
-that I give them the value they would have if I made them myself.
On the contrary
acts good in themselves, and even great,
-which are not made for me alone,
are like rusty gold, splashed,
-which do not shine.
I don't even give them a look! »
So I say, "Ah! Lord!
How easy it is for dust to defile our actions!"
Jesus continued:
"One should not notice the dust because it will be shaken. What you have to notice is the intention."
While He was saying this, Jesus tied my arms. I said to him, "O Lord, what are you doing?"
He replied:
"I do this because, when you are in the position of crucifixion, you appease me.
And as I want to chastise people, I tie your arms in this way." Having said that, He disappeared.
For several days I was in opposition to Jesus because I asked him to be released and he did not want to.
Sometimes He showed Himself to be asleep, sometimes He imposed silence on me.
This morning my confessor commanded me more than once to ask Jesus to set me free. But Jesus wasn't paying attention.
Constrained by obedience, I say to Jesus:
"My kind Jesus, when did you contravene obedience? It is not I who want to be released,
it is the confessor who wants you to stop making me suffer the crucifixion.
Condescends, therefore, to this virtue of obedience so predominant in you, this virtue
-who weaved your whole Life and
-who led you to your Sacrifice on the Cross."
Jesus answered, "You really want to do violence to me by availing yourself of the ring of obedience, the one who united my Humanity with my Divinity!"
As he said this, he took on the appearance of the Crucified and shared with me the pains of the crucifixion. May the Lord always be blessed and all things be done for His Glory!
Then I felt liberated.
While I was in my usual state, I suddenly found myself out of my body.
and it seemed to me that I was circulating all over the earth.
Oh! How inequity it was. It was horrible to see!
In one place I found a priest leading a holy life.
To another, a virgin whose life was holy and without fail.
All three exchanged on the many punishments
that the Lord inflicts and on the many others that He is about to inflict. I say to them, "What are you doing? Are you adjusted to divine justice?"
They replied:
"We are aware
-of all the gravity of these sad times and
-that man will not surrender,
even if an apostle was raised up or if the Lord sent another Saint Vincent Ferrier
who, by miracles and great signs, tried to bring him to conversion.
Man has reached
-such obstinacy and
-such a degree of insanity
that even miracles would not make him move from his disbelief.
Thus, out of strict necessity,
for the good of man,
to stem this rotten sea that floods the earth, and
for the glory of our outraged God, humanity is confronted with Justice.
We can only pray and offer ourselves as victims so that these punishments may bring about the conversion of peoples."
And they added:
"And you, what do you do? Aren't you adjusted to divine righteousness like we are?"
To which I replied:
"Oh no! I can't.
Obedience prevents me from doing so, although Jesus would like it.
And since obedience must prevail above all else, it is necessary for me to be in opposition to the blessed Jesus, which afflicts me greatly."
They said, "One must conform to obedience."
After that, I returned to my body even though I had not yet seen my dearest Jesus. I wanted to know what part of the world this priest and virgin were from.
Jesus told me they were from Peru.
This morning my kind Jesus came and carried me out of my body.
And I saw something that was going to be moved from the sky to touch the earth. I was so scared that I shouted out and said, "Ah! What are you doing Lord?
What destruction will occur if this happens! You say you love me and you want to scare me?
Don't do that! No no! You can't do that! I don't want to!" Compassionate, Jesus said to me:
"My daughter,
Don't be afraid! When, then, will you accept that I do something? Should I not let you see anything when I chastise people?
I will strengthen your heart like a tree trunk
so that you can bear what you see."
At that moment, it came out of my heart like a tree trunk.
At the top there were two branches that formed like a fork. One of the branches rose into the air and took hold of what was moving. Thus, the thing was stopped. The other branch seemed to touch the ground.
Then I returned to my body. I prayed to Jesus to calm down. It seemed to me that he had surrendered so well to my request that he shared with me the sorrows of the Cross.
Then He disappeared.
This morning, my adorable Jesus seemed restless. He was just coming and going. At one point, he stayed with me.
The next moment, as attracted by His ardent Love for creatures, He was going to see what they were doing.
He sympathized a lot with them about what they were suffering, so much so
that He was taken by their sufferings more than themselves.
Many times, by his priestly powers, my confessor forced Jesus to make me suffer his pains so that He would be soothed by my sufferings.
Although Jesus seemed not to want to be appeased, He later became grateful.
With good heart, He thanked the priest for taking care of stopping his vengeful Arm. He made me share one suffering, then another.
Oh! How moving it was to see him in this state! It broke my heart with compassion.
Many times he said to me, "Conform to my righteousness, for I can no longer hold it back. Ah! Man is too ungrateful!
On all sides, he forces me to chastise him.
He himself snatches punishments from my hands.
If you knew how I suffer when I deploy my Righteousness.
But it is the man himself who forces me.
By the fact that I bought his freedom at the price of my Blood, he should be grateful to me.
But, on the contrary,
to do me greater harm,
he invents new ways to make my Blood useless."
As he said this, he cried bitterly.
To console him, I said to him, "My sweet Good, do not grieve. I see that your affliction is more related to the need you feel to chastise people. Oh no! May it never be so.
Since you are everything to me, I want to be everything to you.
"Therefore, send your chastisements upon me.
-I am a victim always at your disposal.
You can make me suffer anything you want.
Thus, your righteousness will be appeased by a few degrees.
And you will be comforted in the afflictions you feel when you see the creatures suffer.
I have always been against the application of your Justice. For when man suffers, you suffer more than he does.
My kind Jesus continued to be afflicted. This morning, our Queen Mother came with him.
It seemed to me that she was bringing me Jesus.
for me to soothe him and
that with her I beg him to make me suffer in order to save people.
He tells me that in recent days,
-if I had not intervened to prevent the application of his Justice, and
-if the confessor had not used his priestly powers
to ask him to make me suffer, in accordance with his intentions,
-several disasters would have happened.
At that moment, I saw the confessor
and I immediately prayed to Jesus and the Queen Mother for him.
All tender, Jesus said:
"To the extent that he will take care of my interests
-praying to me and
-by committing to renew the authorizations so that I can make you suffer in order to spare people,
then I will take care of him and spare him. I am ready to make this arrangement with him."
After that, I looked at my sweet Good.
I saw that he was holding two flashes in his hands.
-One represented a large earthquake and
-the other, a war accompanied by many sudden deaths and contagious diseases.
I prayed to Him that He would pour these lightning bolts on me. I almost wanted to take them with his hands.
But, to prevent me from taking them, He walked away from me.
I tried to follow him and, as a result, I found myself out of my body. Jesus disappeared and I was left alone.
So, I went for a walk and
I found myself in places where it was harvest season.
It seemed that there were rumors of war there. I wanted to go there to help people,
but the demons prevented me from going where these things were about to happen. They beat me to prevent me from helping people.
They used so much violence that they forced me to back down.
My adorable Jesus came.
Before he arrived, my mind was thinking about some of the things it had told me in years past (and that I didn't remember very well).
A little to remind me of them, He said to me:
"My daughter,
pride eats away at grace.
In the hearts of the proud,
there is only the vacuum filled with smoke,
which produces blindness.
Pride makes a person his own idol. The proud does not have his God in himself. Through sin, he destroys it in his heart.
By erecting an altar in his heart, he places himself above God and worships himself."
O God, what an abominable monster this vice is! It seems to me that
-if the soul was careful not to let it enter it, it would be free from any other vice.
But if, for his greatest misfortune,
she allows herself to be dominated by this monstrous mother,
she gives birth to all her ungovernable children
-what are the other sins.
O Lord, save me from pride!
This morning, my most kind Jesus had just arrived when he said to me:
"My
daughter,
all your pleasure must be to look at you in Me.
If you always do this, you will attract into yourself
all my qualities,
my physiognomy and my features.
In exchange, my pleasure and my greatest contentment will be to look at me in you. »
Having said that, He disappeared.
As I pondered what He had just told me, He suddenly came back.
Putting His holy Hand on my head, He turned my face to His and added:
"Today, I want to rejoice a little by looking at myself in you." Thus, in a great thrill, I relive my whole life.
Such terror took hold of me that I felt myself dying. For I saw that he was looking at me very intensely,
-looking at each other in me,
-desiring to rejoice in my thoughts, my looks, my words and everything else.
I said to myself inside:
"O God, do I rejoice you or do I embitter you?" At that moment, our dear Queen Mother came to my aid.
Holding a very white dress in her Hands, she said to me very kindly:
«My daughter is not afraid.
I want to dress you up with my Innocence.
In this way, looking at himself in you, my dear Son will find in you
the greatest delights that can be found in a human creature."
She dressed me in this dress and presented me to my dear Good, saying to him:
"My dear Son, accept her because of me, and rejoice in her." All my fears left me and Jesus rejoiced in me and I in him.
This morning my sweet Jesus came and carried me out of my body.
Seeing him filled with bitterness, I begged him to pour that bitterness into me. But, even though I prayed to him a lot, I couldn't get him to do it.
However, my breathing became bitter,
since I had approached his Mouth to receive his bitterness.
Meanwhile, I saw a priest dying. I wasn't sure who he was,
given that I had an intention to pray for a sick priest.
I couldn't tell if it was him or someone else.
And I said to Jesus, "Lord, what are you doing?
Don't you see the lack of priests in Corato so that you want to take another one from us!"
Without paying attention to me and with a threatening hand, Jesus said: I will destroy them! I will destroy even more! »
While I was very suffering, my kind Jesus came. He put his arm behind my neck as if to support me. Being very close to him,
I wanted to worship His holy Members, beginning with His Most Holy Head.
At this moment, He said to me:
"My beloved, Jai thirst.
Let me quench my thirst in your love, for I can no longer hold back."
Then, taking on the appearance of a child, he placed himself in my arms, began to feed,
and He even seemed to take great pleasure in it. He was completely refreshed and quenched his thirst.
Then, almost wanting to play with me,
He crossed my heart from side to side with a spear that he held in his Hand. I felt a very great pain, but I was very happy to suffer, especially because it was by the Hands of my one and only Good!
I invited him to make me suffer by even bigger tears. Because, from there, came the pleasure and sweetness that I tasted.
To make me happier, Jesus tore my heart apart, took it in His Hands. With the same spear,
-He cut it in the middle and
-There he found a very white and resplendent cross.
Taking her in His Hands, He rejoices greatly and He says to me:
«The love and purity with which you suffered produced this cross.
I am very happy with the way you are suffering. Not only me, but also the Father and the Holy Spirit."
In an instant, I saw the three Divine Persons
who, surrounding me, rejoiced as they looked at this cross.
But I complained, saying, "Great God, my suffering is too small. I am not happy with only the cross, I also want the thorns and nails.
If I do not deserve them because I am unworthy and sinful,
you can certainly give me the arrangements so that I deserve them."
Sending me a ray of intellectual light, Jesus made me understand that He wanted me to confess my sins.
I felt almost devastated before the three Divine Persons. But the humanity of Our Lord infused me with trust.
Turning to him, I said the confiteor and then I began to confess my sins. As I found myself immersed in my miseries,
a voice came from among them and said to me:
"We forgive you. Don't sin anymore."
I believed that I was going to receive the absolution of Our Lord. But when the time came, he disappeared.
A little later, He returned in the form of the Crucified and shared with me the sorrows of the Cross.
This morning, my dear Jesus did not come.
After a lot of difficulties, I barely glimpsed it.
To complain about his delay, I said to him, "Blessed Lord, why have you delayed so long?
Maybe you've forgotten that I can't be without you? Would I have lost your grace, so that you would not come again?"
Interrupting my plaintive speech, he said to me, "My daughter, do you know what my grace does?
My grace makes you happy
-souls who have the beatific vision
-as well as travelers on land, with this difference:
-souls who have the beatific vision enjoy and rejoice themselves and
-the travelers on earth work for my promotion.
He who possesses grace carries within him Paradise.
For to possess grace is nothing but to possess myself.
And since I alone am the enchanting object
-which enchants all paradise and
-which forms all the happiness of the blessed by possessing grace,
the soul has its Paradise wherever it is."
My delicious Jesus came, full of affability.
He was like a close friend who gives his friend a lot of compliments and shows him his love.
The first words he said to me were:
"My beloved, if you only knew how much I love you! I feel powerfully attracted to love you.
My simple deadlines to come
require a lot of effort and
are new reasons that make me come to fill you with new graces and heavenly charisms.
If you could understand how much I love you,
your own love would seem imperceptible to you compared to mine."
I said to him, "My sweet Jesus, what you say is true, but I also love you very much.
And if you say that my love compared to yours is barely perceptible, it is because your Power is limitless and mine very limited.
I can only do what is given to me by you. This is so true that
when I have the desire to suffer more
to better show you the great love I have for you,
-if you do not concede to me to suffer,
it is not in my power and I am forced to resign myself to being useless, as I have always been by myself.
Suffering is in your Power.
Whichever way you want to show me your Love, You can do it whenever you want.
My Beloved, give me the same power as you.
And I will show you what I can do to show you my love. To the extent that you give me your Love, to the same extent I will give you mine."
He listened with great pleasure to my foolish words and, almost to put me to the test,
he carried me out of my body to the entrance of a deep place,
black and full of liquid fire (the mere sight of this place caused me horror and fright).
He said to me:
"This is purgatory where many souls are gathered.
You will go to this place to suffer and free those souls that I like. You will do it out of love for me."
A little trembling, I said to him, "For your Love, I am ready for anything. But you must come with me because, if you leave me,
I won't be able to find you and you'll make me cry a lot."
He replied:
"If I go with you, what will your purgatory be?
With my presence, your pains will be changed into joys and contentments."
I said, "I don't want to go alone. We will go into this fire together, you will be last me; so I will not see you and I will accept this suffering."
So I went to this place filled with dense darkness. He got behind me. Afraid that he might leave me, I took his Hands and held them pressed into
My back.
Who could describe the pains these souls suffer?
They are certainly inexplicable to people dressed in human flesh. By my presence in this fire, these pains were diminished and the darkness was dispelled. Many souls came out, and the others were relieved.
After being there for about a quarter of an hour, we left.
However, Jesus groaned a lot.
I said to him, "Tell me, my Good, why do you groan? My dear life, I may be the cause.
Maybe it's because I didn't want to go to this place of pain? Tell me, tell me, have you suffered much when you see these souls suffer? How do you feel? »
He replied:
"My beloved, I feel all filled with bitterness, so much so that I can no longer contain them.
I am about to pour them on the earth."
I said to him, "No, no, my sweet Love, you will pour them over me, won't you?"
So I approached his Mouth and he poured into mine a very bitter liquor in such abundance that I could not contain it.
I prayed to Him that He would give me the strength to keep it.
Otherwise, I would have done what I did not want Him to do, which is that I would have poured it on earth and I would have very much regretted doing that.
It seems that he gave me strength, even though the suffering was so great that I felt weakened. Taking me in His arms, Jesus supported me and Said to me:
"With you, we must necessarily submit.
You become so unwelcome that I feel compelled to content you."
My adorable Jesus came as usual. This time I saw Him when He was at the column.
Detaching himself by himself, he threw himself into my arms to be taken in pity. I pressed it on me.
And I started drying and placing her Hair all crusted with Blood.
I fucked them, as well as his Eyes and Face, and did various acts of reparation.
When I came to his Hands and took away the chain, with great astonishment,
I noticed that,
-even if the Head was that of Jesus,
-the members were of many other people, especially religious.
Oh! How many infected members were giving more darkness than light!
On the left were those who made Jesus suffer the most. There was there
-sick limbs, full of deep wounds filled with worms, and
-others that were barely attached to this body by a nerve.
Ah! How this Divine Head suffered and wobbled above these limbs!
On the right side stood those who were better, that is, healthy, resplendent limbs,
-covered with flowers and celestial dew,
-giving off delicious smells.
The Divine Head, above the limbs, suffered greatly.
It is true that there were resplendent members
-which were like light for the Head,
-which revived it and gave it great glory. But the largest number were infected members.
Opening his very sweet Mouth,
Jesus said to me:
"My daughter, how much pain these limbs give me! This body you see is the mystical body of my Church, of which I pride myself on being the Head.
But what cruel tears these limbs make in the body.
It seems that they are stimulating each other to torment me more."
He told me other things about this body, but I don't remember very well. Also, I stop here.
I was very distressed because of some things that I am not allowed to say here.
My kind Jesus, desiring to comfort me, came in a whole new way. He seemed to me dressed in sky blue, all adorned with small golden bells.
-who rang when they beat each other and
-which emitted a sound never heard before.
To this show and the charming sound of bells,
I felt enchanted and relieved by my affliction which, like smoke, dissipated.
I would have remained there in silence (the powers of my soul were so astonished),
if Blessed Jesus had not broken the silence by telling me:
"My beloved daughter, these bells are so many voices
-who speak to you of my Love and
-who invite you to love me.
Now let Me see how many bells you have
-who tell me about your love and
-who call me to love you!"
Blushing, I said, "Oh! Lord, what do you say? I have nothing but my usual flaws."
Taking pity on my misery, He continued:
"You have nothing, it's true, but I want to adorn you with my own bells so that you have plenty of voices with which to call me and show me your love."
Then it seemed to me that He surrounded my waist with a band decorated with these little bells. Then I remained silent.
He added, "Today I have the pleasure of staying with you; tell me something" I said to him, "You know that all my contentment is to be with you! When I have you, I have everything! When I possess you, it seems to me that I have nothing else to desire or say."
He continued, "Let me hear your voice that rejoices my hearing. Let's talk to each other a little. I have often spoken to you about the cross. Today, let me hear you tell me about it."
I felt very confused. I didn't know what to say.
But he, to help me, sent me a ray of intellectual light, and I began to say:
My Beloved, who can tell you what the cross is and what it does? Only your Mouth can speak worthily of the sublimity of the cross! But since you want me to tell you about it, I will.
The cross suffered by you, Jesus Christ,
-frees me from the slavery of the devil and
-unites me to the Divinity by an indissoluble bond.
The cross is fertile and gives birth to grace in me.
The cross is light, it disillusions me with the temporal and reveals eternity to me. The cross is a fire that reduces to ashes all that is not of God, to the point of emptying the heart of any small dust that could be there.
The cross is a currency of inestimable value. If I have the good fortune to own it,
-I become enriched with an eternal currency capable of making me the richest of the
Paradise.
For the money that circulates in Heaven comes from the crosses suffered on earth.
The cross brings me to know myself. It also gives me the knowledge of God. The cross grafts on me all the virtues.
The cross is the noble seat of uncreated Wisdom that teaches me
-the highest, most subtle and sublime doctrines. She reveals me
-the most secret mysteries, the most hidden things,
the most perfect perfections,
all things hidden from the most learned and wise in the world.
The cross is that beneficent water that purifies me and nourishes in me the virtues. It makes them grow.
She leaves me after leading me to eternal life.
The cross is that celestial dew that preserves and embellishes in me the beautiful lily of purity.
The cross nourishes hope.
The cross is the torch of active faith.
The cross is that solid wood that preserves and always keeps ignited the fire of charity.
The cross is that dry wood
-which causes the smoke of pride and vain glory to vanish and to be scattered, and
-which produces in the soul the humble violet of humility.
The cross is the most powerful weapon
-to assail demons and
-defend me from all their grips.
The soul that possesses the cross made
the envy and admiration of all angels and saints, and
the rage and anger of demons.
The cross is my paradise on earth.
As if the Paradise above is enjoyment, the paradise below is suffering.
The cross is the very pure gold chain
-which connects me to you, my greatest Good, and
-which forms the most intimate union that can be
by making me transmute into you, my beloved Object,
until I feel lost in you and live from your very life."
After I have said this - I do not know if it is nonsense - my kind Jesus rejoices greatly.
Taken by a transport of Love, He fucked me everywhere and said to me:
"Bravo, bravo, my beloved! You spoke well!
My Love is fire, but not like a fire of the earth
-which makes sterile everything it penetrates and reduces everything to ashes.
My Fire is fertile and makes sterile only that which is not virtue. To everything else, He gives life.
It germinates beautiful flowers,
-giving very exquisite fruits and
-forming the most delicious celestial garden.
The cross is so powerful.
And I have communicated to him so many graces
that it is more effective than the sacraments themselves.
This is so because when one receives the sacrament of my Body, the dispositions and free assistance of the soul are necessary.
-that we may receive my graces. They can often be missing.
While the cross has the Power to dispose the soul to grace."
This morning, breaking a long silence, my kind Jesus said to me:
"I am the receptacle of pure souls."
In telling me this, He gave me an intellectual light that made me understand several things about purity.
But I can translate into words very little or nothing of what I feel in my intellect.
However, the Right Honourable Lady Obedience wants me to write something, even if it may be meaningless.
To satisfy her, she alone, I will say my nonsense about purity.
It seems to me that purity is the noblest jewel a soul can possess.
The soul that possesses purity is invested with a candid light.
Looking at it, God sees his own Image.
He feels so drawn to this soul that He falls in love with it.
His Love for her is so great that He gives her His very pure Heart as a refuge.
Moreover, only that which is pure and spotless can enter his Heart.
The soul that possesses purity keeps within itself the first splendor that God gave it at the time of its creation.
Nothing in it is filthy or despicable.
Like a queen who yearns for the wedding of the heavenly King,
this soul preserves its nobility until the noble flower that it is is transplanted into the heavenly garden.
This virginal flower has a distinctive scent!
It rises above all the other flowers, above the angels themselves.
It is distinguished by a different beauty,
so much so that everyone is taken by esteem and love for her!
They let her pass freely so that she can reach the Divine Bridegroom.
The first place with Our Lord is given to this noble flower. That is why Our Lord rejoices so much to walk in the midst of these lilies that perfume both earth and Heaven.
He likes all the more to be surrounded by these lilies,
that He himself is the first, the noblest and the example of all others. Oh! How beautiful it is to see a virgin soul!
His heart breathes no breath other than that of Purity and Innocence. It is not obscured by any love that is not of God.
Even his body exudes purity. Everything is pure in her.
It is pure
-in his footsteps, in his actions,
-in his speech, in his looks,
-in its movements.
Just by looking at it, you receive its fragrance.
-What charisms, what graces,
-what reciprocal love, what ingenuated lovers between the pure soul and her Bridegroom Jesus!
Only the one who knows her can say something about it. However, not everything can be said.
And I don't feel that I'm empowered to talk about it. That's why I'm silent and I pass.
This morning, my adorable Jesus did not come. However, after waiting for a good while,
He showed himself several times, but very quickly, almost like lightning. It seemed that I was seeing a light rather than Jesus.
From this light, the first time he came, I heard a voice that said to me:
"I attract you in three ways so that you may love me:
by my benefits,
by my attraction and
by persuasion."
Who could say how many things I understood then? For example, that,
to attract our love, Blessed Jesus brings down upon us a rain of blessings.
And seeing that this beneficent rain fails to attract our love, He goes as far as making Himself pleasant and charming.
What are its means of attraction?
These are the pains suffered out of love for us,
-going so far as to die on the Cross by spreading a flood of Blood
where He became so attractive and so pleasant
-that his executioners and his fiercest enemies fell in love with him.
And to persuade us more and to make our love stronger and more stable,
He left us the light
-of his holy examples and his heavenly doctrine
which dispels the darkness of this life and leads us to eternal salvation.
The second time He came, He said to me:
I manifest myself to souls through
Power,
news, and
Love.
The Power is the Creator Father.
The News is the Word.
Love is the Holy Spirit."
It seems to me that, through His Power, God manifests Himself to the soul through all of Creation.
The Almightiness of God is manifested through all beings. The sky, the stars and all other beings speak to us
-of a Supreme Being, an uncreated Being and his Omnipotence.
The most learned of men, with all his science, cannot even create a vile rat.
And this tells us that there must be an uncreated Being, a very powerful Being, who has created, who has given life and who sustains all beings.
Oh! As the whole universe manifests to us, in clear notes and indelible letters,
God and His Almighty!
He who does not see it is blind, and willfully blind.
With his News, it seemed to me that
Blessed Jesus, coming down from Heaven, came in person to earth
-to give us news of what is invisible to us. By how many ways has He not manifested Himself!
Oh! How many other things I have understood.
But my ability to describe them is too weak.
I believe that everyone, by themselves, understands the rest. Therefore, I will not prolong on this subject.
I spent a good number of days
-in the almost total deprivation of my greatest and only Good,
-in the aridity of heart,
without being able to weep over the great loss I was experiencing, even though I offered this aridity to God by telling Him:
"Lord, receive this as a sacrifice from me. Only you can soften my heart so hard. »
Finally, after a long period of suffering, my dear Mother Queen
Came
bearing on his Womb the Heavenly Child,
all trembling and wrapped in a canvas garment.
She put him in my arms and said:
"My daughter, warm him with your affection, for my Son was born
-in extreme poverty,
-in a total abandonment of men and
-in the greatest austerity."
Ah! How cute he was in his heavenly beauty! I took him in my arms.
I squeezed it to warm it up, because it was cold,
-having on him only a simple canvas cover.
After I had warmed it up as much as I could,
-his purple lips,
my tender little Baby said to me:
«Do you promise me to always be a victim out of love for Me, as I am out of love for you?"
I replied, "Yes, my little Treasure, I promise you."
He continued:
"I am not satisfied with only your word,
I want an oath and a signature with your blood." So I said, "If obedience wills, I will."
He seemed very happy and continued:
"From the moment of my birth, my Heart has always been offered as a sacrifice.
- to glorify the Father,
for the conversion of sinners and
for people
who surrounded me and
who were my most faithful companions in my sorrows.
Thus, I want your heart to be continually in this attitude, in sacrifice for these three ends."
As He said this, Queen Mother wanted the Child to refresh him with his very sweet Milk. I handed it to her and she exposed her Breast to bring it to the Mouth of the divine little Boy.
And I, cunning, wanting to make a joke, I began to suck with my mouth. From the moment I did this, they disappeared, leaving me both happy and pained.
Let everything be
-for the glory of God and
-for the confusion of the wretched sinner that I am.
He continued to show himself as a shadow or a lightning bolt. Thus, I found myself in a sea of bitterness.
In a short moment, he appeared to me, saying:
"Charity must be like a cloak that covers all your actions, so that everything in you shines with perfect charity.
What does this displeasure you feel when you are not suffering mean? It means that your charity is not perfect.
Because to suffer out of love for me or not to suffer out of love for me (without your will intervening), it's the same thing."
Then He disappeared, leaving me more bitter than before. This is a subject for me too delicate for me to talk about here. After I cried bitter tears
on my state so miserable and also
because of its absence,
He came back and said to me:
"With righteous souls, I act justly.
Much more, I reward them doubly for their righteousness
-by favoring them with the greatest graces and
-by giving them graces of Justice and Holiness."
I found myself so confused and bad that I didn't dare to say a single word. Rather, I continued to cry over my misery.
Jesus, desiring to infuse trust in me, put his Hand under my head to hold it.
(for she could not stand alone) and He said to me:
«Don't be afraid. I am the shield of the fighters and the afflicted."
Then He disappeared.
As this morning obedience had asked me to pray for a person, as soon as I saw Jesus, I recommended that person to him.
He told me: "Humiliation must not only be accepted, but we must also love it.
It must be chewed like food, so to speak. As is the case with bitter food,
the more you chew it, the more you taste its bitterness.
Well chewed, humiliation gives rise to mortification.
And these two means, humiliation and mortification, are very powerful for
-overcome certain obstacles and
-obtain the necessary graces.
Like bitter food, humiliation and mortification
-appear harmful to human nature and
-seem to bring evil rather than good.
However, this is not the case.
The more iron is beaten on the anvil, the more it sparkles and becomes purified.
This is the case for the soul who really wants to walk on the path of good.
The more she is humiliated and beaten on the anvil of mortification,
the more sparks of celestial fire spring from it, the more it is purified."
I found myself very distressed by the deprivation of my greatest and only Good. After waiting for him for a long time, I finally saw him coming into the inside of my heart.
He was crying.
He made me understand
how much he suffered and humiliated himself when he was circumcised.
This caused me great suffering, for I felt absorbed in his bitterness. Compassionate with me, the blessed little Baby said to me:
The more the soul is humiliated and knows itself, the closer it gets to the Truth.
In the Truth, she seeks to follow the path of virtues, from which she feels very distant. And, on this path,
-she perceives the distance she still has to travel because this path is endless.
It is infinite as I am infinite.
The soul that is in the Truth
-always seeks to improve,
-but it never manages to be perfect.
This brings him
to work continuously,
to improve oneself more and more, without wasting time in idleness.
And I, blessing this work, little by little,
I do the retouching to paint in her my image.
That's why I wanted to be circumcised:
I wanted to set an example of the greatest humility, which stunned even the angels of Heaven."
I continued to see myself not only filled with misery, but I was also worried.
My whole interior was in turmoil because of the loss of Jesus.
I thought about myself by telling myself
-that my great sins had earned me that Jesus left me and
-that, therefore, I will never see him again.
Oh! What a cruel death it was for me, more cruel than any other! I was terribly overwhelmed
-to no longer see Jesus,
-to no longer hear his sweet Voice,
-to have lost the one on whom my life depended, on whom all good came to me! How to live without it?
Ah! Having lost Jesus, everything was over for me!
Drowned in these thoughts, I felt in mortal agony and my whole interior was upset. I wanted Jesus so much!
Then, in a burst of light, He manifested Himself to my soul and said to me:
"Peace, peace! Don't be disturbed.
Just as a very fragrant flower perfumes the place where it is placed, so the peace of God fills the soul that possesses it."
Then He fled like lightning.
Ah! Lord, how good You are to the sinner that I am. With confidence, I say to you, "Ah! How singular you are!
Even if I'm losing you, you don't want me to be troubled or alarmed.
And, if I am, you make me understand that I am thus moving away from you.
Because
-with peace, I fill myself with God.
-in trouble, I fill myself with diabolical temptations.
Oh! My sweet Jesus, what patience is needed with you! Because no matter what happens to me,
you don't even want me to be alarmed or troubled.
You want me perfect calm and peace."
While I was in my usual state,
I felt myself leaving my body and found my adorable Jesus.
But, oh!
How I saw myself filled with sins in His presence!
Internally, I felt a very strong desire to confess to Our Lord.
So, turning to Him, I began to tell Him my sins. He was listening to me. When I was finished, He turned to me with a look full of affliction and Said to me:
"My daughter,
-if it is serious, sin is a poison and a mortal embrace for the soul. Not only for the soul, but also for all the virtues found there.
If it is venial, it is an embrace
-who hurts and
-which makes the soul weak and sick as well as the virtues found therein.
What mortal venom sin is!
Alone, he can hurt the soul and give it death! Nothing else can harm the soul.
Nothing else can make her ugly and hateful before Me. Only sin."
As He said this, I understood the ugliness of sin.
I felt such pain that I don't know how to express it. Jesus, seeing me all tortured by pain,
raised his right hand and spoke the words of absolution.
And He added:
"Sin wounds the soul and gives it death.
The Sacrament of Confession
-gives it new life,
-heals his wounds,
-restores vigor to its virtues and
this, more or less, according to its provisions.
This is how this sacrament works."
It seemed to me that my soul was receiving new life.
After Jesus' absolution, I no longer felt the trouble of before. May the Lord always be thanked and glorified!
This morning I received communion.
Finding myself with Jesus, I also found the Queen Mother. And what a wonder:
looking at the Mother, I saw her Heart transformed into the baby Jesus;
I looked at the baby and saw the Mother in her Heart. Then I remembered that it was the feast of the Epiphany.
Following the example of the holy Three Kings, I would have liked to offer something to Jesus as a baby. But I had nothing to give him.
Then, through my misery, the thought came to me to offer him,
-as myrrh, my body with all the sufferings of the twelve years during which I had been bedridden, ready to suffer and to continue as long as He would desire.
"Like gold, I offered Him the pains I feel when He deprives me of His presence,
which is for me the most suffering and painful thing.
As incense, I offered him my poor prayers by uniting them with those of the Queen Mother, so that they would be more acceptable to Jesus the baby.
I made my offering in total confidence that the Child would accept it. However, it seemed to me that even though Jesus accepted my poor offering with great pleasure, what he loved most was the confidence with which I offered him.
He said to me:
"Trust has two arms.
With the first,
-we embrace my Humanity and
-it is used as a ladder to rise to my Divinity.
With the other,
-one embraces my Divinity and
-one obtains from her torrents of heavenly graces.
Thus, the soul is all flooded by the divine Being.
When the soul trusts, it is sure to get what it asks:
I keep my Arms tied and
I let the soul do what it wants.
I let her penetrate deeper into my Heart I let her take what she asked of me.
If I didn't do this, I would feel in a state of violence towards the soul."
As He said this, from the Child's Chest (or from the Mother's Chest) came liquor streams.
(but I don't know exactly what I call liquor here) that flooded my whole soul. Then Queen Mom disappeared. .
Afterwards, the Child and I went into the vault of heaven. I saw his charming saddened face.
I said to myself, "Maybe he desires the caresses of Queen Mom."
I pressed it my heart and Jesus baby took on a jubilant appearance. Who could say what happened then between Jesus and me?
I don't have the language to manifest it or the expressions to describe it.
I said to myself internally:
"Who could say how many mistakes and blunders contain these things I write?"
At that moment, I felt as if I was losing consciousness and Blessed Jesus came.
And He said to me:
"My daughter, even your mistakes will help to make it clear that there is no willful deception on your part and
that you are not a doctor (because if you were one, you would know where you are wandering).
They will make it even clearer that it is I who speak to you
at least for those who know how to see things simply.
But I assure you that they will not find
-not a shadow of vice,
-nor anything that says "virtue".
For when you write, I myself guide your hand.
At most, they will be able to find something that,
-at first glance, seems wrong,
-but which, if they look more closely, corresponds to the Truth. Having said that, he disappeared.
A few hours later,
-while I felt perplexed and uncomfortable about what He had told me,
He came back and added:
"My legacy is Firmness and Stability. I am not subject to any change.
The closer a soul gets to Me and advances on the path of virtue, the more firm and stable it feels in the good.
Moreover
-the farther she is from Me,
-the more it is prone to oscillate between good and evil."
While I was in my usual state, my kind Jesus showed himself to me in a lamentable state.
His Hands were tied securely, his Face was covered with sputum, and there were several people slapping him copiously.
As for Him,
He was quiet and quiet,
-without moving and
-without making a single complaint.
He didn't even move an eyelid.
He thus showed that He wanted to suffer these outrages,
-not only externally,
-but also internally.
What a moving sight, capable of breaking the hardest hearts!
How many things did this Face stained with mud and disgusting sputum tell me!
I was struck with horror. I was shaking.
I saw myself all filled with pride compared to him.
He said to me:
"My daughter, only the little ones let themselves be treated as they want:
-not those who are small for human reason,
-but those who are small and filled with divine reason.
I can say that I am humble.
But what is called humility in man should be called self-knowledge. He who does not know himself walks in falsehood."
Then, for a few minutes, He was silent. I contemplated it.
And I saw a hand with a light that sought in me,
-in the most intimate and hidden places, to see if you could find there
-self-knowledge and
-love of humiliation, confusion and disgrace.
The light found a void in my interior
And I saw that this place should have been filled with humiliation and confusion, following the example of my blessed Jesus.
Oh! How many things this light and sacred attitude of Jesus made me understand. I said to myself:
«A God humiliated and confused out of love for me.
I, a sinner deprived of these marks of distinction!
A stable and firm God who, in the face of so many injustices,
does not even move to get rid of the disgusting spitting that covers his Face. Ah! If He wanted to reject these sufferings, these outrages, He could perfectly do it!
I understand that
-it is not the chains that hold him in this situation,
-but his stable Will that wants to save the human race whatever the cost!
And me, where are my humiliations?
Where is my firmness and constancy in working out of love for Jesus and my neighbor!
Oh! What dissimilar beings Jesus and I are!"
While my little brain was lost in these thoughts, my adorable Jesus said to me:
"My Humanity was overwhelmed by disgrace and humiliation, to the point of overflow.
That is why, before my virtues,
-Heaven and earth tremble and
-the souls who love me use my Humanity as a ladder to reach some reflections of my virtues.
"Tell Me: Compared to my humility, where is yours? Only I can boast of true humility.
United with my Divinity, my Humanity could have done wonders
-at every step, in word and deed, but, voluntarily,
-I have restricted myself to the limits of my Humanity,
-I have shown myself to be the poorest,
"I have gone so far as to confuse myself with sinners.
]'could have accomplished the Redemption in a very short time, and even in a single word.
But
-for many years,
-with so much deprivation and suffering,
I wanted to make man's miseries my own.
I wanted to indulge in many and diverse actions
so that man may be renewed and deified, even in his smallest labors.
Carried by Me who was God and man, these human works
received a new splendor and
were marked with the seal of the Divinity.
Hidden in my Humanity,
my Divinity descended as low as to put himself at the level of human acts.
Whereas, by a simple act of My Will, I could have created an infinite number of worlds
-which would have transcended the miseries and weaknesses of this humanity!
Before divine Justice,
I have chosen to see my Humanity covered with all the sins of men for whom I have had to atone for.
by incredible pain and
by shedding all my Blood!
Thus, I have performed continual acts of heroic humility. The big difference between my humility and that of the creatures
-who, before mine, is only a shadow- even that of my saints-,
it is that creatures
-are still creatures and
-do not know like Me the true weight of sin.
Although
-some souls were heroic and
-to my example, they have offered themselves to suffer the sorrows of others, they are no different from others: they are made of the same clay.
The simple thought
-that their suffering is the cause of new gains for them, and
-let them glorify God,
is a great honour for them.
Moreover, creatures are restricted to the circle in which God has put them.
They cannot go beyond the limits of this circle. Oh!
-If it were in their power to make and undo,
-how many other things would they not do. Everyone would reach the stars!
On the contrary, my divinized Humanity had no limits.
However, it has been limited to human limits.
that all his Works may be woven with heroic humility.
was the cause of all the evils that flooded the earth.
And me
-by the exercise of this virtue,
-I had to attract upon men all the goods of the Divinity.
No grace leaves my Throne except through humility. No request can be received by me, if she does not have the signature of humility.
No prayer is heard by my Ears nor moves my Heart to compassion,
if it is not perfumed with humility.
"If the creature doesn't go all the way
-to destroy in it this search for honors and self-esteem (which is destroyed by loving to be hated, humiliated and confused),
-she will feel around her heart like a braid of thorns, and
-she will have a void in her heart
who will always bore her and keep her very dissimilar to my most holy Humanity.
If she does not come to love humiliations,
at most she will be able to know herself a little,
but it will not shine before me,
dressed in the beautiful and charming garment of humility."
Who could say all the things I understood about
-the virtue of humility and
-the correlation between self-knowledge and humility?
It seems to me that I have grasped the distinction between these two virtues, but I do not have the words to express it. To say something about that, I will use an example.
Imagine a poor man
-who knows that he is poor and
-who, for people
who do not know him and
who might believe that he has something,
-clearly manifests its poverty.
We can say of this man
-that he knows himself,
-that he speaks the truth and,
-that in this way, he will be more loved.
He will draw others to compassion about his miserable state. All of them will help him.
This is what self-knowledge produces.
But what would happen if this man,
-being ashamed to manifest his poverty,
-boasted of being rich, when all would know
-that he does not even have the clothes he wears and
-that he dies of hunger. All would hate him,
-no one would help him and he would become the laughing stock of all who know him.
This wretched man would go from bad to worse and eventually perish.
This is what pride produces before God and before men. The one who does not know himself
-automatically moves away from the Truth and
-embarks on the paths of falsehood.
There is another form of heroic humility that also results from self-knowledge.
Imagine a rich man,
born in the midst of comfort and riches, and
which is well recognized as such.
However, considering the profound humiliations to which Our Lord Jesus Christ submitted Himself out of Love for us,
-he becomes in love with holy humility,
-abandons its wealth and comfort,
-takes off his noble clothes and covers himself with rags. He lives unknown. He doesn't tell anyone who he is.
He lives with the poorest as if he were their equal. He rejoices in contempt and confusion.
We find in this man what happens to the saints
-who humiliate themselves more and more and
Who know that the Lord thus fills them with his graces and gifts.
In these examples, we see
that self-knowledge without humility is not good for anything,
that self-knowledge accompanied by humility becomes precious.
Oh, yes! Humility
-attracts grace,
-breaks the strongest chains and
-overcomes every barrier between the soul and God.
Humility is the little plant always green and flowering
-which is not prone to being eaten away by worms, and
-which cannot be damaged or wilted by winds, hail or heat.
Even though it is the smallest plant, it develops the largest branches that penetrate into Heaven and join the Heart of Our Lord. Only the branches that come from this little plant have their free entries into this adorable Heart.
Humility is salt
-which seasons all the virtues and
-preserves the soul from the corruption of sin.
Humility is the little grass that grows near the paths.
It disappears when it is trampled but then it grows back more beautiful than before.
Humility is that domestic graft that ennobles the wild plant. It is the currency of grace.
Humility is the moon that guides us into the darkness of the night of this life. Humility is the cunning merchant
-who knows how to sell their property and
-which does not waste even a penny of the grace given to him. Humility is the key to Paradise where no one can enter without it.
Humility is the smile of God and all of Heaven and the weeping of all hell.
This morning, my adorable Jesus came and went without talking to me. Afterwards, I felt that I was leaving my body.
With his back turned, he said to me:
"In many, there is no more righteousness. They say:
"As long as things continue in this way, we will not have success in our projects.
So let us feign virtue, pretend to be upright, pretend to be true friends. Thus, it will be easier to weave our net and abuse them.
When we come to them to harm them and devour them,
-they, believing that we are friends, will spontaneously fall into our hands."
This is what level of sneaky man can reach." Subsequently, desiring from me a special repair,
Blessed Jesus seemed to take my life by presenting me to divine righteousness.
By his way of doing things, I thought he would make me leave this life.
That is why I said to him, "Lord, I do not want to enter Heaven without your marks of distinction. Crucify me first and then bring me."
"He pierced my hands and feet with nails. And while he was doing it, to my greatest regret,
-l disappeared and I found myself in my body. I said to myself internally:
"Here I am again! Ah! How many times have you done this to me, my dear Jesus.
You have a special art to make me this shot:
You let me believe that I will die,
-which leads me to laugh at the world and the pains
-telling me that the separation from you is over.
Then, when I began to rejoice,
I still find myself locked in the prison of this fragile body.
As a result,
-forgetting my rejoicing,
I return to my tears, my lamentations and the sufferings of my separation from you.
Ah! Lord, come back soon, for I am deeply dismayed."
After experiencing very bitter days of deprivation, my poor heart struggled between the fear of having lost Jesus forever and
-the hope that maybe I will see him again.
O God! What a bloody war my heart had to sustain! His suffering was such
-that at one moment it froze and,
-at the next moment, he was as if under the press and disgusted the blood.
While I was in this state, I felt my sweet Jesus close to me. He took off the veil that covered my eyes and, finally, I could see it.
Immediately, I told him:
"O Lord, don't you love me anymore?"
He replied:
"Yes, yes I love you! What I recommend to you is correspondence to my grace.
And, to be faithful, you have to be like the echo
which reverberates in the atmosphere and
who, as soon as someone begins to make his voice heard, immediately, without the slightest delay, repeats what he hears.
That's how you have to do it.
As soon as you begin to receive my grace,
without even waiting for Me to finish giving it to you,
you must immediately begin to echo your correspondence."
I continued to be almost totally deprived of my sweet Jesus.
My life flowed in pain. I felt a great boredom, a great weariness of living! I thought to myself internally, "Oh! How prolonged my exile is!
Oh! What would be my happiness if I could dissolve the bonds of this body. Thus, my soul would freely take flight to my greater Good!"
A thought crossed my mind: "What if you went to hell!"
To prevent the devil from attacking me on this point, I hurried to say:
"Then, even in hell, I would send my sighs to my sweet Jesus; even there, I would like it."
While I entertained these thoughts and many others (it would be too long to mention them all), my kind Jesus showed himself for a short time and, in a serious tone, he said to me:
"Your time hasn't come yet."
In an intellectual light, he made me understand that everything must be ordered in a soul.
The soul has many small rooms,
-one for each virtue,
-each virtue having with it all the others, in such a way that
-if the soul seems to possess only one virtue,
-this one is accompanied by all the others.
Nevertheless, the virtues are all distinct and each has its place in the soul. They all come from the Most Holy Trinity which,
while being one,
consists of three distinct persons.
I also understood that each of the chambers of the soul is,
-or filled by a virtue,
-or by the opposite vice.
If there is no virtue or vice, it remains empty.
It seemed that my soul was like a house that contains
-lots of rooms,
-all empty.
-some filled with snakes,
-some mud,
-others dark.
Ah! Lord, only you can put my poor soul in order!
The same state persisted.
This morning Jesus carried me out of my body.
After waiting so long, it seemed that this time I saw it clearly.
However, I saw myself so bad that I didn't dare to say a word.
We looked at each other, but in silence.
Through these mutual glances, I understood that Jesus was filled with bitterness.
But I didn't dare to say to him, "Pour your bitterness into me."
He approached me, however, and began to pour out his bitterness. Having received it, I was unable to contain it and Threw it back on the ground.
Then He said to me, "What are you doing there? You don't want to share my bitterness anymore? Don't you want to relieve me in my pain anymore?"
I said to him, "Lord it's not that I don't want to. I don't know what happens to me. I feel so filled with your bitterness that I have no place to contain it. Only a prodigy on your part can enlarge my interior.
So I can receive your bitterness."
Jesus made a great sign of the cross on me and he poured out his bitterness again. This time it seemed to me that I was able to contain it.
He then says, "
My daughter, mortification is like fire
-which dries all the bad moods that are in the soul and
-which floods him with a mood of holiness, giving birth to the most beautiful virtues."
Jesus came several times, but always in silence. I felt a void in me and sorrow.
For I could not hear his very sweet Voice. Returning to console me, He said to me:
"Grace is the life of the soul.
As the soul gives life to the body, so grace gives life to the soul.
For the body, it is not enough that it has a soul to maintain its life,
it also needs food so that it can grow to its full stature.
Thus, for the soul, it is not enough that it has the grace to keep it alive, it also needs food so that it can progress to its full stature.
And this food is the correspondence to grace.
Grace and correspondence to grace form a chain that leads the soul to Heaven.
To the extent that the soul corresponds to grace, the links in this chain are formed."
And He added:
"What is the passport to enter the kingdom of grace? It is humility.
The soul that always looks at its nothingness and perceives being nothing but dust and wind
puts his trust in the grace that becomes like his master.
Taking control, grace leads the soul on the path of all virtues
and makes him reach the heights of perfection.
Without grace, the soul is like the body departed from its soul
-which becomes filled with worms and rot and which horrifies the look.
Thus, without grace, the soul becomes so abominable that it horrifies the gaze, not of men, but of God himself. »
This morning I found myself in a state of great discouragement, especially because I was deprived of the presence of Jesus, my greatest Good.
He showed up and told me:
"Discouragement is a toxic mood that infects the most beautiful flowers and their most pleasant fruits.
This toxic humor penetrates into the roots of the tree,
-impregnating it completely,
-causing it to dry out and become repugnant.
If someone does not heal him by watering him with the opposite mood, the tree collapses. So it is for the soul that soaks itself in the toxic mood of discouragement."
After these words of Jesus, I still felt discouraged, all withdrawn into myself.
And I saw myself so mean that I didn't dare to rush to him.
My mind said to itself:
"It is useless for me to hope any longer for his continual visits, his graces, his charisms as before. It's all over for me."
Almost rebuking me, Jesus added:
"What are you doing? What do you do?
Don't you know that lack of confidence makes the soul moribund?
Thinking that she is going to die, the soul does not know
-how to dispose of life,
-how to acquire grace,
-how to use it,
-how to make yourself more beautiful or
-how to act to heal oneself from its sagging."
Ah! Lord, it seems to me to see
this ghost of lack of trust,
-unclean, thin, fearful and trembling and
-which, with all his art, with no other instrument than fear, leads the soul to the pit.
And what's worse, this ghost doesn't show himself as an enemy. For then the soul could unmask him.
Rather, he shows himself as a friend.
He secretly infiltrates, pretending to agonize with the soul and saying he is ready to die with it.
And if the soul is not attentive, it will not know how to get rid of this deception.
As I continued in the same state, but with a little more courage, my dearest Jesus came and said to me:
"My daughter, sometimes the soul meets vice face to face. If, gathering his courage,
-it triumphs over this enemy,
-the opposite virtue becomes more resplendent and more deeply rooted in it.
But the soul must be careful
-in order not to provide the rope with which it can be attached,
-this rope being the lack of confidence.
This will be done
-by dilating his heart in trust,
-while dwelling within the circle of Truth, which is the knowledge of its nothingness."
This morning, after receiving communion,
I saw my adorable Jesus, but in a whole new attitude. He seemed serious, reserved and about to reprimand me. What a dramatic change.
Instead of being relieved, my poor heart felt
-oppressed,
-pierced
by this unusual attitude of Jesus.
However, as I had been deprived of his presence in the previous days, I felt a great need for relief.
He said to me:
"As lime has power
-to devour the objects that are immersed in it, so mortification has the power
-to devour the imperfections and defects that are found in the soul.
It goes as far as spiritualizing the body.
It is placed near the soul and seals all the virtues.
Until she has devoured your soul and body well,
she will not be able to seal perfectly in you the marks of my crucifixion."
Then my hands and feet were pierced.
(I'm not sure who did it, although it seemed to me that it was an angel). Then, with a spear that he drew from his Heart, Jesus pierced my heart,
which gave me a sharp pain.
Then He disappeared, leaving me more distressed than before.
I understand that
-that it was necessary for mortification to be for me an inseparable friend,
-but that not even the shadow of a friendship with her existed in me!
"Ah! Lord, bind me to mortification through an indissoluble friendship. Because, by myself, my manners are all rustic."
Not seeing himself warmly received by me,
-mortification becomes all respect for me;
-she always spares me, fearing that one day I will turn my back on her completely. She will never bring her majestic work to completion.
For as long as we are at knives drawn, his prodigious hands will not reach me.
-to work on me and
-to present myself before Jesus as a worthy work of his holy hands.
This morning, after renewing in me the sorrows of the crucifixion, Jesus said to me:
"By the good air or bad air that a person breathes, his body is purified or infected.
Mortification must be the air of the soul.
By the air that the soul breathes, we recognize whether it is healthy or sick.
If a person breathes the air of mortification,
everything will be purified in it;
all his senses will sound with the same concordant sound.
But if she does not breathe the air of mortification,
everything will be discordant in it;
she will have a disgusting breath.
While she tames one passion, another will rise. His life will be child's play."
It seemed to me to see mortification as a musical instrument, which,
-if its strings are all good and strong, produces a harmonious sound.
-if its strings are not of good quality,
then we must adjust one, then another, and so ceaselessly,
so you always have to adjust the instrument without ever being able to play it.
And if you try to play it, you only hear discordant sounds.
This morning, my adorable Jesus came and carried me out of my body. I saw a lot of people in action.
But I can't say if it was war or revolution. As for Our Lord,
-people were just weaving crowns of thorns to him. While with care I took one from him,
-they have set him another even more painful one.
Ah! It seems to me that our age will be disavowed because of his pride! The greatest misfortune,
-it is to lose control of his head.
Because, once a person has lost control of his head and brain,
-all its members become disabled,
-or they become enemies of each other.
My patient Jesus tolerated all these crowns of thorns.
No sooner had I taken them away than He turned to the people and said to them:
"Some in war, some in prison, some in earthquakes.
A few will remain.
Pride has ruled your life, and pride will give you death."
After that, pulling me out of the midst of these people, blessed Jesus changed into a child.
I carried Him in my arms so that He could rest.
He told me:
"Between you and me,
-let everything be for me; and
-that what you will concede to the creatures is nothing but the overflow of our love."
My blessed Jesus kept coming.
After I had received communion, he renewed in me the pains of the crucifixion. I was so affected that I felt the need for relief.
But I didn't dare to ask.
A little later, Jesus came back in the form of a child and kissed me several times.
From his very pure lips flowed a very sweet milk that I drank in large sips. As I was doing this, He said to me:
I am the flower of Celestial Paradise
The perfume that I exhale as all Heaven is perfumed.
I am the Light that illuminates all of Heaven; all are imbued with this Light. My saints draw from Me their little lamps.
There is no light in Paradise that is not drawn from this Light."
Oh, yes! There is no perfume of virtue without Jesus.
Without it, there is no light, even in the highest heavens.
My kind Jesus resumed his usual deadlines. May he always be blessed! In truth, one needs to have the pazienza of a saint to function with him. Whoever has not experienced this cannot believe it.
It is almost impossible not to have a small argument with him.
After being Patient while waiting for her for a long time, he finally came and said to me:
"My daughter, the gift of purity is not a natural gift but an acquired grace. The soul obtains it by making itself attractive through mortification and suffering. Oh! As mortified and suffering souls make themselves attractive.
I have such a taste for them that I go crazy about them. Whatever they want, I give them.
When you are deprived of me
which is the most painful suffering for you, accept this deprivation out of love for me.
I will have for you a greater Love than before and I will grant you new graces."
This morning, when I had almost lost hope that Jesus would come, He suddenly returned. He renewed in me the pains of the crucifixion and said to me:
"The time has come. The end is emerging, but the time is uncertain. »
As I wondered if these words were related to my complete crucifixion or chastisements, I said to him:
"Lord, I am afraid that my condition is not in accordance with God's Will."
Jesus continued: "The surest sign to know whether a state is in conformity with my Will,
it's when you feel the strength to live in that state."
I said to him, "If it were your Will, you would not stop coming as before!"
He replied:
"When a person has become familiar in a family,
all these ceremonies and respects are no longer used as they were before, when she was still a stranger.
And this is not a sign that this family no longer wants the person, nor that it does not love him more than before. So it is with Me.
Therefore, stay quiet; Let me do it.
Don't torture your brain or lose the peace of your heart. In due course, you will understand my works."
This morning I found myself all frightened.
I believed that everything was fantasy or that the devil wanted to abuse me. That's why I hated everything I saw and was unhappy.
I saw that the confessor was praying to Jesus to renew in me the pains of the crucifixion.
and I tried to resist.
In the beginning, Jesus blessed tolerated him in this way, but because the confessor insisted,
He said to me:
"My daughter, will we really fail in obedience this time?
Don't you know that obedience must seal the soul and make it malleable like wax,
in such a way that the confessor can give it the form he wants?"
So, not taking care of my resistance, He made me share the pains of the crucifixion.
And can no longer resist the commandment of Jesus and the confessor
-(because I did not want to consent for fear that it was not of Jesus), I had to surrender to suffering.
May Jesus always be blessed and may all creatures glorify Him in all things and always!
After living for several days in the deprivation of Jesus
(at most, he came a few times as a shadow, then he fled), I felt such pain that I burst into tears.
Sympathetic to my sorrow, Blessed Jesus came, looked at me carefully, and said to me:
"My daughter, do not be afraid, for I will not leave you.
When you are deprived of My Presence, I do not want you to lose heart. Rather, from today, when you will be deprived of Me,
I want you to take my Will and rejoice in It,
-loving me and glorifying me in her,
by considering it as if it were my very Person. By doing so, you will have me in your very hands.
What forms the beatitude of Paradise?
-Certainly my Divinity.
And what will be formed of the beatitude of my beloved on earth? Certainly of my Will.
It will never run away from you. You will always have it in your possession.
If you remain in My Will, there you will experience ineffable joys and
very pure pleasures. By not leaving My Will, the soul becomes noble She becomes rich
And all his work reflects the divine Sun, as the surface of the earth reflects the sun's rays.
The soul that makes my Will is my noble queen
She takes her food and drink only in my Will. Because of this, he flows very pure blood through his veins.
Its breath exhales an aroma that totally refreshes me because it comes from my own Breathing.
Thus, I want nothing of you,
-except that you form your beatitude within my Will, without leaving it, even for a brief moment."
As he said this, I remained all alarmed and frightened because of jesus' words supporting
-that He would not come and
-that I had to calm down in his Will.
O God, what sorrow, what mortal anguish! But, with gentleness, Jesus added:
"How can I leave you when you are a soul victim? I will stop coming when you stop being a soul victim.
But as long as you are a victim, I will always feel attracted to come to you."
So I found my calm.
I felt as if surrounded by god's adorable Will,
in such a way that I could not find any opening to escape. I hope that He will always keep me imprisoned in this way in His Will.
While I was all abandoned to the kind Will of Our Lord, I saw myself completely surrounded by my sweet Jesus, internally and externally.
I saw myself as transparent
Everywhere I looked, I saw my greatest Good.
But, O wonder,
while I saw myself surrounded inside and out by Jesus,
I myself, with my own will, surrounded Jesus in the same way, in such a way that He had no opening through which to escape.
Because, united with his, my will kept him chained.
O admirable secret of the Will of my Lord, indescribable is the happiness that comes from you!
As I was in this state, Blessed Jesus said to me:
"My daughter, in the soul that is all transformed into my Will, I find a sweet rest.
This soul becomes for Me like those soft beds that do not disturb in any way those who rest there.
Same
-if the people who use it are tired, sore and arid,
-the sweetness and pleasure they find there are such that when they wake up, they find themselves strong and healthy.
This is for me the soul in accordance with my Will. And as a reward,
I let myself be bound by his will and
I make my divine Sun shine there as in its middle of noon."
Having said that, He disappeared.
Later, after I received Holy Communion, He came back and carried me out of my body.
I live a lot of people. He said to me:
"Tell them that they are doing great harm by whispering against each other. They attract my indignation.
And this is just because,
-while they are all subject to the same miseries and weaknesses,
-they are only suing each other.
If, on the contrary, with charity
they judge each other with compassion,
then I feel drawn to use mercy with them."
I repeated these things to these people, and then we withdrew.
This morning, after I had received Holy Communion, my sweet Jesus showed Himself to me crucified. Internally, I felt attracted to look at myself in him so that I could look like him.
And he looked at himself in me to train me to look like him.
As I did this, I felt that the pains of my crucified Lord were infused into me.
Full of kindness, He said to me:
"I want your food to be suffering,
-but not suffering for its own sake,
-but suffering as the fruit of my Will.
The kiss that will bind our friendship will be the union of our wills.
The indissoluble bond that will bind us in a continual embrace will be a shared continual suffering."
While He was saying this, Blessed Jesus became uncrowded. He took his Cross and spread it inside my body.
I became so stretched that I felt my bones break apart.
Also, a hand (I don't know who it was) pierced my hands and feet.
.
And Jesus, who sat on the Cross lying in me,
took great pleasure in seeing me suffer and in seeing the person who pierced my hands and feet.
Then He said:
"Now I can rest in peace.
I don't even have to bother crucifying you. For obedience will do all this by itself.
I leave you free in the hands of lady obedience."
Leaving the Cross, He placed Himself on my heart to rest. Who could say how much I suffered in this position!
After a long time and while, unlike other times,
Jesus was not in a hurry to deliver me and make me return to my natural state, I no longer saw that hand that had crucified me.
I told Jesus.
He replied, "Who put you on the cross? Was it me?
It was obedience, and obedience must set you free!"
It seemed like he wanted to joke this time. And he freed me himself.
This morning, finding myself out of my body,
I had to look left and right to find Jesus blessed.
By chance, I entered a church
and I found it on the altar where the divine Sacrifice was offered.
Immediately, I ran to him and kissed him saying:
"Finally, I found you!
You let me look for you here and there to the point of tiring me, and you were here!"
Looking at me with gravity, and not in his usual benevolent way,
He said to me:
"This morning I feel very sorrowful and I feel a great need to resort to punishment to take away my burden."
Immediately, I replied:
"My Dear, this is nothing! We will remedy this just now!
You're going to pour out your bitterness in me and that way you'll be relieved, won't you?" Then He poured out His bitterness into me.
Then, pressing on himself, as if He were freed from a great weight,
He added:
"The soul conforming to my Will knows so well how to master my Power that it comes to bind me completely.
She disarms me as she pleases. Ah! How many times do you bind me!"
As He said this, He returned to His usual gentle and benevolent appearance.
Being a little restless about a certain thing, my mind wandered here and there. I was trying to reassure myself and find my peace.
But blessed Jesus prevented me from reaching my goal.
As I insisted, He said to me:
"Why are you wandering like this?
Don't you know that he who goes against my Will
-goes out of light and
-imprisons himself in the dark?"
As if to distract me from what I was looking for,
He carried me out of my body and, changing the subject, He said to me:
"The sun illuminates the whole earth from one end to the other,
in such a way that there is not a place that does not enjoy its light.
There is no one who can complain about being deprived of its beneficial rays. Everyone can benefit from it as if he had it for himself alone.
Only those who hide in dark places can complain about not enjoying them.
However, continuing his charitable service,
he still lets a few rays pass for them. »
The sun that illuminates all peoples is an image of my grace. The poor and the rich,
the ignorant and the learned, christians and unbelievers can benefit.
No one can say that he is deprived of it
Because the light of Truth floods the world like the sun at its midday.
But what is not my trouble to see
-that people pass in the middle of this light with their eyes closed and
-that, defying my grace by their torrents of iniquities, they move away from this light and
they voluntarily live in dark regions in the midst of cruel enemies.
They are exposed to a thousand dangers because they do not have the light.
They cannot discern whether they are in the midst of friends or enemies and, thus, they do not know how to circumvent the dangers around them.
Ah! All would be horrified if man made this kind of affront to the sun,
pushing his ingratitude to the point of tearing out his eyes to offend him and not see his rays,
to be more certain to live in darkness.
If he could reason, the sun would send lamentations and tears rather than its light, which would turn nature upside down.
Although it would be horrified to see this done with regard to natural light, man reaches such extremes with regard to the light of my grace.
But, always benevolent,
grace continues to send its rays upon human darkness.
My grace knows no one!
It is rather the man who, voluntarily, sulks her.
And although he no longer has this light in him, it still grants him his sparkle. »
While he was saying this, Jesus seemed extremely distressed.
I did what I could to console him, begging him to pour out his bitterness into me.
He added: "I implore your compassion, even though I am the cause of your affliction.
For from time to time I feel the need to alleviate my pain by speaking to my beloved souls of the ingratitude of men.
I want to move these friendly souls
-to get them to make me repair for all these excesses, and also
-to bring them to compassion for men themselves."
I said to him:
"Lord, I wish you would not spare me by making me participate in your pains."
And, without me being able to say more, He disappeared and made me reintegrate my body.
This morning, after I had received Holy Communion, I saw my dear Jesus in the form of a child, with a spear in his hand, desiring to pierce my heart.
As I had said a certain thing to my confessor,
Jesus, wanting to rebuke me, said to me, "You want to avoid suffering, but I want you to start a new life of suffering and obedience!"
As He said this, He pierced my heart with the spear.
Then He added:
"The intensity of the fire corresponds to the amount of wood that is put into it. The greater the fire,
-greater is its ability to burn and consume the objects deposited there,
-and greater are the heat and light it develops.
Such is obedience. The greater it is, the more it is able to destroy in the soul what is material.
Like a soft wax, obedience gives the soul the shape it wants."
Everything was going as usual.
This morning I saw Jesus more afflicted than usual and He threatened people with death.
I also saw that in some countries many were dying.
Later, I went into purgatory and, having recognized a deceased friend there, I asked her about different things about my condition.
I especially wanted to know
-if my state corresponded to the Will of God and
-if it was Jesus who came or the devil.
I told him, "Since you are before the Truth and know things clearly without being deceived, you can tell me the truth about my affairs."
She replied, "Don't be afraid. Your state is according to God's Will and Jesus loves you very much. That is why he deigns to manifest himself to you."
Then, submitting to her some of my doubts, I begged her to be kind enough to examine these things before the light of the Truth and to be charitable enough to come and enlighten me afterwards. I added that if she did this, as a reward, I would have a Mass celebrated for her purposes.
She said, "The Lord wills!
For we are so immersed in God
that we can't even move our eyelids without his consent.
We live in God as people who live in another body.
We can think, talk, work, walk, as much as it is given to us by this auxiliary body.
For us, it's not like for you,
-who has free choice,
-who has your own will.
For us, our personal wills have ceased to function.
Our will is only God's. We live in Her.
In her we find all our contentment, all our good and all our glory."
Then, in an inexpressible contentment about the Divine Will, we separated.
The confessor had asked me to pray to the Lord to show me the way.
-to attract souls to Catholicism and
-to eliminate unbelief.
I prayed to Jesus on this point for several days and He deigned to address this issue.
So, this morning, I found myself out of my body, transported to a garden.
It seemed to me that it was the garden of the Church.
There were many priests and other dignitaries there who discussed the issue.
A huge and powerful dog came and left most of them so frightened and exhausted that they let themselves be bitten by the beast. Subsequently, they withdrew from the meeting like fearful.
However the ferocious dog did not have the strength to bite those
-who had Jesus in their hearts
-as the center of all their actions, thoughts and desires.
Oh, yes! Jesus was the shield of these people.
The beast became so weak in front of them that it did not have the strength to breathe. While people were talking, I heard Jesus saying behind my back:
"All other companies know who belongs to their group.
Only my Church does not know who His sons are.
The first step is to know which ones belong to him. You can know them
-by establishing a meeting to which those who are Catholics will be invited,
-at a well-chosen location for such a meeting.
And there, with the help of lay Catholics, establish what needs to be done.
The second step is to force the Catholics present to confess, this being the main thing.
-which renews man and
-makes him a true Catholic.
This is not only for those who attend, but also for the one who is the superior.
He will also have to force his subjects to confess.
For those who refuse, he must courtesy dismiss them.
When each priest has formed the group of his Catholics, we can then take other steps.
And to recognize the appropriate times to move forward,
we must do as for trees that need to be pruned.
Pruned trees produce quality fruit
But if the tree is not pruned, it displays a beautiful display of leafy branches and flowers, but it does not have enough sap and strength to turn so many flowers into fruit.
Then, when a heavy rain or gust of wind arrives, the flowers fall and the tree becomes bare.
This is the case for the things of religion.
First, you must form a body of Catholics sufficient to stand in front of other groups.
Then you can enter the other groups to form one."
After He said that, I didn't hear Him anymore.
Without even seeing him again, I found myself in my body.
Who could say my sorrow for not having seen Jesus blessed all day
and all the tears I shed!
Since Jesus continued to be absent,
-I was consumed by sorrow and
-I felt in me rise a fever to the point of becoming delusional.
The confessor came to celebrate the divine sacrifice and I received communion. However, I did not see my dear Jesus as usual when I receive communion.
That's why I started talking in a foolish way:
"Tell me, my Good, why don't you show up?
It seems to me that this time I did not cause your escape! What? Are you just leaving me? Ah!
Not even friends of this earth act in this way. When they have to leave, at least they say goodbye.
And you don't even say goodbye to me! Can we do that? Forgive me if I speak like that.
It's the fever that makes me delusional and makes me fall into this madness!" Who could say all the nonsense I told him like that?
I was delusional and crying.
At one point, Jesus showed one hand, another, an arm.
I saw the confessor who gave me permission to suffer the crucifixion. Thus constrained by obedience, Jesus showed himself.
I said, "Why didn't you show yourself?"
And he, in a stern tone, said to me:
"It's nothing! It's nothing! It is only that I want to chastise the earth.
Being in a good relationship with even one person makes me disarmed and I no longer have the strength to set the punishments in motion.
When you see that I want to send chastisements, you begin to say, "Pour them on me. Make me suffer."
Then I feel defeated by you and I never move on to punishments. But, in the meantime, man is only becoming more provocative."
The confessor allowed me to suffer the crucifixion. But Jesus was slow to proceed,
unlike other times when He immediately took action.
He said, "What do you want to do?"
I said, "Lord, whatever you want."
Turning to the confessor, He said to him in a serious tone:
"Do you, too, want to bind me by giving her this permission for Me to make her suffer?"
As He said this, He began to share with me the pains of the Cross.
Later, pacified, He poured out his bitterness in me.
Then He said, "Where is the confessor?"
I replied, "I don't know. He is surely no longer with us."
Jesus said, "I want to see him because, since he has refreshed me, I too want to refresh him."
This morning, blessed Jesus showed me the Holy Father with outstretched wings. He was looking for his children to gather them under his wings.
I heard his moans:
"My children, how many times have I tried to gather you under my wings, but you are fleeing me.
By pity, hear my moans and sympathize with my pain!"
He cried bitterly.
It seemed that it was not only lay people who deviated from the Pope, but also priests. And it gave him even greater pain. How painful it is to see the Pope in this state!
Afterwards, I saw Jesus echo the Holy Father's groans, saying:
"Among those who have remained faithful, some live for themselves. They do not have the zeal to expose themselves for my glory and for the good of souls. Others are held back by fear.
Others speak, propose and promise, but never take action." Then He disappeared.
A little later He came back and I felt devastated by His presence.
Seeing me devastated, He said to me, "My daughter,
the more you lower yourself,
the more I feel attracted to bend over to you and fill you with my graces.
Humility attracts my light. »
Having received Holy Communion, I saw my sweet Jesus.
He invited me to go out with him, on the condition, however, that wherever we went,
-if I saw that he was compelled by sins to send punishments,
-I would not object.
We have thus gone around the world.
First, I saw that everything was dried out in some places. I said to Jesus:
"Lord, what will these poor people do if they lack food to feed themselves?
Oh! You can do anything.
Just as you made these lands dry up, make them flourish."
As He wore a crown of thorns, I stretched out my hands saying:
"My Good, what have these people done to you? Maybe they put that crown of thorns on you? So, give it to me.
That way, you will be soothed and you will give them food so that they do not perish."
Taking her crown of thorns, I pressed her on my head. As I was doing this, Jesus said to me:
"It is quite obvious that I cannot bring you with me.
For to bring you with Me and not be able to do anything is the same thing."
I replied, "Lord, I have done nothing!
Forgive me if you think I did something wrong. But, out of pity, keep me with you."
He said to me, "Your ways of acting bind me completely!"
And I continued, "It's not me doing this, it's yourself. For, being with you, I see that everything belongs to you.
It seems to me that if I don't take care of your things, I don't take care of yourself.
of you.
Therefore, you must forgive me if I act in this way.
For I do it out of love for you. You must not remove me from you for that!"
Then we continued our tour.
I was doing everything I could to say nothing so as not to give him the opportunity to fire me.
But when I couldn't hold back, I started to object.
We arrived at a point in Italy
where we were inventing a way to cause a great collapse. But I didn't understand what it was.
I began to say, "Lord, don't allow this! What will these poor people do? Seeing that I was becoming anxious and wanted to stop him from acting, he said to me with authority: "Step back, step back!"
Taking a belt full of nails and pins that was driven into his Body
and who made him suffer a lot, He added:
"Step back and take this belt with you; you will relieve me a lot."
I said, "Yes, I'll put her in your place, but let me stay with you."
He added, "No! Get back! »
He told me this with such authority that, unable to resist, I returned to my body. I couldn't understand what this invention was.
This morning, when I arrived, my adorable Jesus said to me:
"As the sun is the light of the world, so
the Word of God, incarnating, became the light of souls.
As the material sun gives light to everyone in general and to everyone in particular
(so that everyone can enjoy it as if it were personal to him),
thus the Word, while he gives light in general, gives it to everyone in particular
Everyone can have it as if it were their personal good."
Who could say everything I have understood about this divine light and the beneficial effects it provides to souls.
It seemed to me that by possessing this light,
the soul makes the darkness of the spirit flee as the material sun makes the darkness of the night flee.
If the soul is cold, this divine light warms it; if it is devoid of virtues, it makes it fertile;
if it is infected with lukewarmness, it stimulates it to fervor.
In a word, the divine Sun floods the soul with all its rays and goes so far as to transform it into its own light.
As I felt exhausted, Jesus said to me:
"This morning, I want to rejoice in you."
And he began to make his customary love tricks.
After I had waited for him a lot, my sweet Jesus showed himself in my heart.
I saw it like a sun sending its rays.
In the center of this sun, I perceived the august Figure of Our Lord.
But what amazed me the most was
that I saw several maids dressed in white with crowns on their heads.
They surrounded the divine Sun and fed on its rays.
Oh! How beautiful, modest, humble and all applied to rejoice in Jesus!
Not knowing the meaning of all this and being a little afraid, I asked Jesus to tell me who these ladies were.
He said to me:
"These ladies are your passions
-that I, by my grace, have changed into so many virtues and
-who make me a noble procession.
They are all at my disposal and I nourish them with my continual graces." Ah! Lord, I feel so bad that I am ashamed of myself!
This morning I suffered greatly from the absence of my dear Jesus.
Nevertheless, he was going to reward me for my pain.
by responding to a desire to know a certain thing that had been with me for a long time.
Here is:
I called him with prayers, tears and songs (who knows, maybe he would be touched by my voice and let himself be found), but all in vain. I repeated my tears. I asked many where I could find it.
Finally, the moment I could no longer continue and felt my heart burst,
I found it. But I saw him from behind.
At that moment, I remembered a resistance I had made to him (which I will say in the book of the confessor) and I asked him for forgiveness. It then seemed to me that we were on good terms.
He asked me what I wanted and I said to him:
"Be kind enough to tell me what to do
when I find myself with very little suffering or
when you don't come and if you come, you do it like a shadow. So, not seeing you, I don't leave my senses.
In this state, I find
-that I do things by myself and
-that it is not necessary to wait for the coming of the confessor to leave my state.
Jesus answered:
-Whether you suffer or not,
-whether I come or I do not come,
your state is always that of a victim, in accordance with my Will and yours.
I don't judge
-depending on what is done,
-but according to the will with which the person acts.
My Lord, I said to him, what you say is good.
But I feel useless and I find that a lot of time is wasted.
I feel concerned about what you say and, at the same time, I am a little scared. I am not sure that bringing the confessor is according to your Will. -
Do you think," Jesus continued, "that bringing the confessor is a sin?" - No, but I fear it is not your Will.
You must flee from the very shadow of sin and, to everything else, do not even grant a thought.
But if it is not your Will, what benefit is there in the confessor coming? -
Oh! it seems to me that my daughter wants to flee the victim state, doesn't it? "No, my Lord," I added blushingly.
I say this for the periods when you don't make me suffer and you don't come. Make me suffer and I will remain quiet. -
It seems to me that you want to flee.
By distracting yourself from Me and trying to change this situation, you are busy with something else.
And then, when I come,
I find you unprepared and I am inclined to turn around to go somewhere else.
May this never happen, Lord, I said terrified to him. I want to know nothing but your most holy Will. Be calm and wait for the confessor, Jesus finished. Having said that, He disappeared.
I felt relieved of great weight by this conversation with Jesus.
Nevertheless, the painful pain I feel when Jesus deprives me of his presence has not ceased.
This morning, after receiving Holy Communion, I found myself in a sea of bitterness.
because I have not seen Jesus, my greatest Good.
While my whole interior was in tears, He showed Himself briefly. Almost rebuking me, He said to me:
"Do you know that do not surrender to Me,
it is to want to usurp the rights of my Divinity and thus to make me a great affront? Surrender to Me and soothe all your inner self in Me and you will find peace. And by finding peace, you will find me."
Having said this, He disappeared as if in a flash, without showing himself anymore.
"O Lord, will you please keep me all abandoned and hugged in your arms in such a way that I can never escape? Otherwise, I'll always have those little leaks."
Blessed Jesus did not come!
O God, what an indescribable pain to be separated from you!
I tried my best to stay at peace and abandoned in him, but to no avail.
My poor heart couldn't resist.
I did everything I could to calm down and thought to myself:
"My heart, let's wait a little longer. Maybe he will come. Let's use a few ploys to get him to come."
I said to him, "Lord, come; it's getting late and you haven't come yet! This morning I'm doing everything I can to stay calm
But you still don't let yourself be found. Lord, I offer you the martyrdom of being deprived of yourself
-as a gift out of love for you and for you to come.
It is true that I am not worthy of you coming.
But that's not why I'm looking for you, but
-out of love for you and
-because, if you are not there, I feel that my life is missed."
As He still did not come, I said to Him:
"Lord, either you come, or I will tire you with my words. When you are tired, then you will come well.
Who could say all the nonsense I told him like that? It would be too long to mention them all.
Afterwards, he surreptitiously showed himself as if he had just been awakened from his sleep.
Then he showed himself more distinctly and carried me out of my body.
He said to me:
"Just like the bird has to flap its wings to take flight. So must make the soul to come to me.
In her impulses, she must flap the wings of her humility.
Then, by its beats, it unfolds like a magnet that attracts me in such a way that,
when she takes flight to me, I take mine to her."
Ah! Lord, it is obvious that I lack the magnet of humility. If, along the way, I had everywhere the magnet of humility,
I wouldn't get so tired when I'm waiting for you to come!
After several bitter days of deprivation and rebuke from blessed Jesus
for my ingratitudes and resistance to His Will and Grace, this morning He said to me:
"My daughter,
the passport to enter into the beatitude that the soul can possess on this earth must be initialed with three signatures:
Resignation,
Humility and
Obedience.
Perfect resignation to My Will
liquefies our two wills and merges them into one.
It's sugar and honey.
But, through resistance to my Will, sugar becomes bitter and honey turns into poison. It is not enough to be resigned.
But the soul must also be convinced
that the greatest good for her and
the best way to glorify myself is to always do my Will.
It also requires the signature of Humility.
For humility produces knowledge of my Will.
But what
-ennobles the virtues of resignation and humility,
-strengthens them, makes them persevering,
-binds them together and crowns them,
it is Obedience!
Oh, yes! Obedience
-completely destroys the own will and all that is material,
-spiritualizes everything and lands on the creature like a crown.
Without obedience, resignation and humility are subject to instability.
Hence the strict necessity of the signature of obedience
-for the passport to be validated
allowing to pass into the realm of spiritual bliss that the soul can enjoy here on earth.
Without the signatures of resignation, humility and obedience,
-the passport will be worthless and
-the soul will always be far from the realm of bliss.
She will be forced to remain in worry, fear and danger. For his own disgrace,
-she will have as god her own ego and
-she will be courted by pride and rebellion."
Then He carried me out of my body into a garden.
which seemed to be that of the Church.
There I saw five or six people, priests and secularists,
-who had gone astray, and
-which, uniting with the enemies of the Church, provoked a rebellion.
What a pain to see Jesus blessed weeping over the sad state of these people!
Subsequently,
I saw in the air a cloud of water filled with pieces of ice falling on the earth.
In recent times,
my kind Jesus came when it was still dark and said nothing. This morning
-after He had renewed in me the sufferings of the cross twice, He looked at me tenderly
-while I was suffering the pains of piercing by the nails and
He said to me:
"The cross is a window where the soul sees the Divinity. One must not only love and desire the cross,
but also appreciate the honor and glory it provides.
During my earthly life, I glorified myself in the cross and suffering. I liked it so much that,
throughout my life,
I didn't want to be a single moment without the cross. You have to act and become like God."
Who could say all that I understood on the cross by these Words of Jesus? Unfortunately, I do not have the words to express it.
O Lord, I beg you to always keep me nailed to the cross so that I can
-that always having this divine window before me,
-that I be cleansed of all my sins and
-let me become ever more like you!
Being in my usual state,
I was inhabited by a certain fear because of a personal thing.
My sweet Jesus came and Said to me:
"Sacred vessels need to be cleaned from time to time. You are sacred vessels in whom I dwell.
Thus, it is necessary
-that I clean you from time to time, that is,
-that I visit you by some tribulation
so that I may live in you with more dignity. Therefore, be calm!"
Then, after I had received Holy Communion and renewed in me the sufferings of the crucifixion, He added:
"My daughter, how precious is the cross! Take a look at it. Through the sacrament of my Body, I give myself to the soul,
-I unite it with me and
-I transform it to the point that it becomes identified with Me.
With the assimilation of the holy species, this special union is dissolved, but not the cross. God takes it and unites it to the soul forever.
And, for greater security, He establishes Himself as a seal.
Thus, God seals the cross in the soul
that there may never be a separation between God and the crucified soul."
This morning, finding myself out of my body, I saw that my sweet Jesus was suffering a lot.
and I asked him to share his suffering with me.
He said to me:
"Instead, I will replace you and you will act like my nurse."
Thus, it seemed to me that Jesus was sitting in my bed and that I was standing near Him.
I started by lifting his blessed Head
And, one by one, I removed all the thorns that were driven into it. Then I examined all the wounds of his holy Body.
I wiped their blood and fucked them
But I had nothing to anoint them and alleviate his suffering. Then I saw that from my chest flowed an oil.
I took her to anoint her wounds
But I was doing it with some fear because I didn't know the meaning of this oil.
He made me understand that resignation to the divine Will is an oil that,
-while Jesus is anointed,
alleviates pain and injury.
After I had had a good time doing this service to my dear Jesus, He disappeared, and I found myself in my body.
While I was out of my body and didn't see my dear Jesus, I had to look for him for a long time before I found him.
Eventually, I found him in the arms of Queen Mom but He didn't even look at me.
Who could say the suffering I felt when I saw that Jesus didn't care about me!
Afterwards, I noticed on his Chest a small pearl.
She was so resplendent that she flooded with her light all her most holy Humanity.
I asked her what she meant.
He said to me:
"Purity in your sufferings, even the smallest,
-that you accept only out of love for me,
and your desire to suffer more if I grant you, this is the cause of so much light.
My daughter
-the purity of intention is of such magnitude that
the one who acts for the sole reason of pleasing me floods with light all his works.
-The one who does not act with righteousness
only spreads darkness, even in the good he does."
Then I saw that Our Lord was wearing a very bright mirror on His Chest.
It seemed to me
-that those who walk in righteousness are completely absorbed by this mirror and
-that those who do not walk in righteousness
remain outside and are unfit to receive the imprint of the image of Jesus blessed.
This morning, after I had received Holy Communion,
it seemed to me that the confessor wanted me to suffer the crucifixion.
At the same moment, I saw my guardian angel lying on the cross to make me suffer.
Afterwards, I saw my sweet Jesus in great sympathy with me.
He said to me:
"Your suffering is my comfort."
And he manifested an unspeakable joy for my suffering.
The confessor who, by means of obedience, had given me to suffer, had given him this comfort.
Jesus added:
"Since the sacrament of the Eucharist is the fruit of the cross, for this reason I feel more desirous.
-to grant yourself to suffer when you have received my Body,
For when I see you suffering,
it seems to me that my Passion continues in you,
-not mystically but really, for the benefit of souls.
And this is for Me a great relief.
Because I then collect the true fruits of my Cross and of the Eucharist."
Then He says:
"Until now, it is through obedience that you have suffered.
Do you want me to have a little fun renewing in you the crucifixion by my own Hands?"
If I still felt a lot of suffering,
-since the sorrows of the cross were still fresh in me, I said to him:
"Go forward, Lord, I am in your Hands. Make me what you want."
Then Jesus, very happy, began to drive the nails into my hands and feet.
I felt such an intensity of pain that I don't know how I stayed alive. However, I was happy because I was making Jesus happy.
After He fixed the nails, coming near me, He said:
"How beautiful you are! And how much your beauty grows through your sufferings! Oh! How dear you are to me!
My eyes are on you because they find in you my image."
He said many other things that I think I do not need to report here. First, because I am bad and,
second, because I do not understand how Jesus speaks to me,
-which brings me confusion and embarrassment.
I hope the Lord will make me good and beautiful.
Thus, with the decrease of my discomfort, I will be able to write everything. But, for now, I'll stop here.
After I had received Holy Communion, my sweet Jesus, full of goodness, showed himself to me.
It seemed to me that the confessor wanted me to be crucified, but my nature felt a reluctance to submit to it.
My sweet Jesus, to encourage me, said to me:
"My daughter,
-if the Eucharist is a pledge of future glory,
-the cross is the currency with which to buy this glory.
-The Eucharist is the balm that prevents corruption.
It is like those aromatic herbs that, when corpses are anointed, they are preserved from corruption.
It gives immortality to the soul and the body.
The cross, on the other hand, embellishes the soul.
It is so powerful that, if there has been a contraction of debts, it is a guarantee for the soul.
It pays each debt.
After she has satisfied for all, she creates for the soul a magnificent throne for future glory.
The cross and the Eucharist are, so to speak, complementary."
Then He added:
«The cross is my flower bed:
not because I suffered little from his terrible pains
but because, through it, I have opened an immeasurable number of souls to grace.
I saw through her so many beautiful flowers rising that produced so many delicious heavenly fruits. So when I saw so much good, I looked at this bed of suffering as a delight.
I rejoiced in the cross and the sufferings.
You too, my daughter, accept suffering as your delights Take pleasure in being crucified on my Cross.
No no! I don't want you to fear suffering as if you were a lazy person. Cheer up!
Work like a brave person, and prepare yourself to suffer."
As He spoke, I saw that my good guardian angel was ready to crucify me. From myself I stretched out my arms and the angel crucified me.
The good Jesus rejoiced in my suffering.
I was very happy that a soul as miserable as me could give joy to Jesus. It seemed to me that it was a great honor for me to suffer out of love for him.
This morning I found myself out of my body and saw the heavens dotted with crosses:
small, medium and large. The larger ones gave more light.
It was very beautiful to see so many crosses,
-more resplendent than the sun,
-adorning the firmament.
After that, it seemed to me that the heavens opened.
One could see and hear the feast that had been prepared by the Blessed in honor of the Cross.
Those who had suffered more were the most celebrated on this day.
Martyrs were distinguished in a special way
as well as those who had suffered secretly (the soul victims). In this blessed sojourn, the Cross and those who had suffered the most were particularly honored.
As I saw this, a voice echoed to the highest heavens and said:
"If the Lord did not send a cross to the earth, He would be like the father.
-who has no love for his children and
-who, rather than wanting them to be honored and rich, wants them dishonored and poor."
The rest of what I saw from that holiday, I have no words to express it. I feel it in myself, but I don't know how to express it. So I keep quiet.
After several days of deprivation and disorder,
I found myself particularly troubled this morning.
My adorable Jesus came and said to me, "By your trouble, you have disturbed my sweet rest.
Oh, yes! You prevent me from continuing my rest."
Who could say how humiliated I was when I heard that I had disturbed Jesus' rest! So, I became calm for a while.
But, subsequently,
I found myself more troubled than before, because I didn't know where it was all going to end up.
After a few words from Jesus, I found myself out of my body. Looking at the vault of the heavens, I saw three suns:
one seemed to be placed to the east,
the other to the west and
the third to the south.
They radiated such brilliance that the rays of one blended with those of the others.
It gave the impression that there was only one sun.
It seemed to me to perceive the mystery of the Most Holy Trinity
as well as the mystery of man, created in the image of God by these three Powers.
I also understood that those who were in this light were transformed:
-their memory by the Father,
-their intelligence through the Son and
-their will by the Holy Spirit.
How many other things I have understood that I am unable to express.
The same state continued, and perhaps worse, although I did everything I could not to disturb myself, as obedience demanded.
Nevertheless, I kept feeling the heaviness of abandonment that crushed me and even annihilated me. "O God, what a terrible state! At least tell me: where have I offended you?
What is the cause of this? Ah! Lord!
If you continue in this way, I think I won't have the strength anymore. »
Finally, Jesus showed himself.
Putting his Hand under my chin in a gesture of compassion, he said to me:
"Poor girl, how exhausted you are!"
Then, sharing his sufferings with me, he disappeared at lightning speed, leaving me more distressed than before.
I felt like he hadn't come for a long time. I felt anxious to live again.
My life was a continual agony. "Ah! Lord! Help me and don't leave me abandoned in this way, even· if that's what I deserve. »
The same state of deprivation and abandonment continued.
I was out of my body and saw a deluge accompanied by hail. It seemed that several cities were flooded and there was a lot of damage.
This plunged me into great consternation and I wanted to counter this scourge.
But as I was alone, without the company of Jesus, I felt my poor arms too weak to do so.
Then, to my surprise, I saw a virgin coming (it seemed to me that she was from America).
She on her side and I on the other, we were able to counter this scourge to a large extent.
Later, when we joined, I noticed that this virgin was wearing the signs of the Passion: she was wearing a crown of thorns like me.
Then an angel-like being said:
«O power of the soul victims!
What we angels are unable to do, they can do through their suffering.
Oh! If men knew only the good that comes from these souls,
-the private good as well as the public good,
they would be busy imploring God for these souls to multiply on earth."
After that, being commended to each other to the Lord, we parted ways.
I was still deprived of my adorable Jesus. At best, he showed himself as a shadow.
Oh! How bitter it was causing me! How many tears I shed!
That morning, after waiting for him and searching for him, I found him near me, very distressed, with the crown of thorns piercing his Head.
I took it away very gently and put it on my own head. Oh! How wicked I felt in his presence!
I didn't have the strength to say a single word.
With compassion, He said to me:
"Courage! Don't be scared!
Try to fill your interior with my presence and all the virtues. When I come to cause the overflow in you,
I will bring you to Heaven and all your privations will be over."
Then, in a distressed tone, He added:
"Pray, my daughter,
because there are three days of preparation,
three days apart from each other,
days of storms, hail, thunder and floods that will greatly ravage people and plants."
Having said this, He disappeared, leaving me a little relieved, but with a question:
who knows when the overflow He spoke of will happen?
And if it ever happens, maybe I'll have to protect myself from it.
Finding myself out of my body, it seemed to me that we were in the night: I saw the whole universe, the perfect order of nature, the starry sky, the silence of the night.
It seemed to me that everything had a meaning.
As I contemplated this, it seemed to me to see Our Lord who said to me:
"All of nature invites us to rest.
But what is true rest? It is the inner rest, the silence of all that is not God.
You see
-the stars twinkle with moderate light, not dazzling like that of the sun,
-the silence of all nature, of mankind and animals.
All are looking for a place, a refuge where
-be in silence and
-rest from the fatigue of life,
something that is necessary for the body and much more for the soul.
"It is necessary to rest in one's own center which is God. But, in order to be able to do so,
-inner silence is necessary, in the same way as,
for the body, external silence is necessary in order to be able to sleep peacefully.
What, then, does this inner silence consist of?
-To silence his passions by holding them in check,
-to impose silence on his desires, inclinations and feelings, in short, on everything that is not God.
Whatis the way to achieve this?
The unique and indispensable way is to demolish one's being according to nature
-by reducing it to nothing,
-as it was his situation before he was created.
When it has been reduced to nothing, it must be recovered in God.
"My daughter,
everything began in nothingness,
even that great machine of the universe that you are looking at and that has so much order.
If, before it was created, it had been something,
-I could not have involved my Creative Hand to create it with such mastery,
so adorned and splendid.
-I would have had to undo first everything that would have existed before, then redo everything as I would have liked.
All my work in the soul begins from nothingness.
When there is a mixture of something else,
it is not appropriate for My Majesty to go down and work there.
But
when the soul is reduced to nothing and comes to Me, placing its being in mine,
then I work as the God that I am and she finds her true rest."
Who could say everything I understood from these words of blessed Jesus?
Oh! That my soul would be happy
-if I could undo my poor being
-to be able to receive the divine Essence of my God!
Oh! How I could then be sanctified! But what madness inhabits me!
Where is my brain so I haven't done it yet?
What is this human misery that, rather than seeking this true good and flying very high, is content to crawl on the ground and live in dirt and corruption?
Then my beloved Jesus brought me inside a garden where there were many people preparing to attend a feast.
Only those who received a uniform will be able to attend.
But few received this uniform. A great desire to receive him came to me. I insisted as long as I got it.
Having arrived at the place where I was to receive the uniform, a venerable lady
-dressed me first in white and
-put me a heavenly epaulette from which hung a medal of the Holy Face of Jesus.
This medal was also a mirror that,
-if we looked at it,
-made it possible to distinguish the smallest sins of his soul, with the help of the light that emanated from the Holy Face.
The lady took a very thin golden coat and covered me completely with it.
It seemed to me that dressed in this way, I could compete with all the virgins in the community. While this was happening, Jesus said to me:
"My daughter, it is enough that you are dressed like this. When the party starts, I will take you there.
For now, let's go back and see what mankind is doing."
So, after walking around, he brought me back to my body.
This morning, my adorable Jesus did not come.
However, after I had waited for him for a long time, he came.
As he stroked me, he said, "My daughter, do you know what purpose I am pursuing as far as you are concerned?"
After a pause, he continued:
"As far as you're concerned, my goal is not
-to accomplish in you brilliant things or
-to accomplish by you things that would highlight my work.
My goal is
to absorb you into my Will and
to make us one,
to make you a perfect model
conformity of the human will with the divine Will.
This is the most sublime state for a human, the greatest prodigy.
This is the miracle of miracles that I plan to perform in you.
"My daughter,
for our wills to become perfectly one, your soul must be spiritualized.
She must imitate me.
While I fill the soul by absorbing it within myself,
I make myself pure Spirit and
I make sure that no one can see me.
This corresponds to the fact
that there is no matter in me,
but that everything in me is very pure Spirit.
If, in my Humanity, I clothed myself with matter, it was only
-for, that in all I look like a man and
-so that I may be for man a perfect model of spiritualization of matter.
The soul must
-spiritualize everything in her and
-to come to be like a pure spirit, as if matter no longer existed in it.
Thus, our wills can perfectly become one. If, of two objects, one wants to form only one,
it is necessary for one to renounce his own form in order to marry that of the other.
Otherwise, they will never succeed in forming a single entity.
Oh! What would be your good fortune if,
-by destroying yourself to become invisible,
-you became capable of perfectly receiving the divine form!
By being thus absorbed in me, and I in you,
-both forming a single being,
-you would end up possessing the divine Fountain. As My Will contains all good,
thou shalt end up possessing all good, all gift, all grace,
you wouldn't have to look for these things anywhere but yourself.
Since virtues have no boundaries, the creature immersed in my Will can go as far as a creature can go.
Because My Will causes the acquisition of the most heroic and sublime virtues
that no creature can surpass.
The height of perfection that the soul dissolved in my Will can attain is so great that it ends up acting like God.
And this is normal because then the soul
-no longer lives in his own will,
-but she lives in that of God.
All astonishment must then cease, since by living in my Will, the soul possesses
Power, Wisdom and Holiness,
as well as all the other virtues that God himself possesses.
"What I'm telling you right now is enough
-so that you fall in love with my Will and
-that, by my grace, you cooperate as much as you can to achieve so many goods.
The soul that comes to live only in my Will is the queen of all queens.
His throne is so high that he reaches the very Throne of Jehovah. It enters into the secrets of the most august Trinity.
It participates in the reciprocal Love of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Oh! How many
the angels and all the saints honor him,
men admire him and
the demons fear her,
seeing in her the Divine Essence! »
O Lord, when will you bring me yourself to this state,
since I am unable to do anything on my own!"
Who could say all the intellectual light that the Lord then infused into me
-on the unity of the human will with the divine Will!
The depth of the concepts is such that my language does not have the words to express them.
I was painfully able to say that little bit.
Although my words are nonsense compared to what the Lord made me understand very clearly by His divine light.
I was very distressed because of the deprivation of my adorable Jesus. At best, he showed himself as a shadow, the time of a flash.
I felt like I wouldn't be able to see it like I used to.
As I was at the height of my affliction, he showed himself all tired, as if he was in great need of comfort.
Carrying His Arms around my neck, He said to me:
"My beloved, bring me flowers and surround me completely, for I long for Love. My daughter, the sweet fragrance of your flowers will be a comfort to me and a remedy for my sufferings, for I languish, I weaken. »
I immediately replied:
"And you, my beloved Jesus, give me some fruit.
For my idleness and the insufficiency of my sufferings
increase my own languor to such an end that I weaken and feel myself dying.
Thus, I will be able to
-not only give you flowers,
-but also fruits
to dampen your languor."
Jesus said to me:
"Oh! How well we understand each other!
It seems to me that your will is one with mine."
For a moment, I felt relieved
as if the state I was in wanted to stop.
But, soon after, I found myself plunged into the same lethargy.
than before.
I felt alone and abandoned, deprived of my greatest Good.
This morning I felt more distressed than ever because of the deprivation of my greater Good.
He showed up and said to me:
"As a strong wind attacks people and penetrates into their interior.
-in such a way as to shake the whole person,
thus my Love and Grace attack and penetrate
-the heart, mind and most intimate parts of man.
However, the ungrateful man rejects my grace and offends me, and causes me bitter pain.
I was very confused about something.
I felt crushed in myself, although I didn't dare to say a word. I thought, "How come he's not coming?
And when he comes, that I don't see him clearly? It seems that I have lost its clarity.
I wonder if I will see his beautiful Face as before."
As I thought so, my sweet Jesus said to me:
"My daughter, why are you afraid?
Since through the union of our wills your destiny is in Heaven?"
And, wanting to encourage me and sympathize with my grief, he added:
"You are my new Work.
Don't get extremely upset if you don't see me clearly. I told you the other day:
I don't come here as usual, because I want to punish people.
If you saw me clearly, you would clearly understand what I am doing. And since your heart is grafted onto mine, it would suffer like mine. To spare you this suffering, I do not show myself clearly."
I replied, "Who could say the torments in which you leave my poor heart!
O Lord, give me the strength to endure suffering."
While I was continuing in the same state, I felt completely oppressed.
I needed the greatest help to be able to bear to be deprived of my Supreme Good.
Blessed Jesus, compassionate with me, showed me for a few moments his Face in the interior of my heart, but not clearly this time again.
Making me hear his very soft Voice, he said to me:
"Courage, my daughter! Let me finish punishing and later I will come as before."
As he spoke like this, I asked him in my mind:
"What punishments did you start sending?
He replied, "The continual rain that falls is worse than hail and it will have sad consequences for people.
After saying this, he disappeared and I found myself out of my body in a garden. There I saw the dried crops on the vines.
I said to myself: 'Poor people, poor people, what are they going to do?'
As I said this, I saw inside the garden a little boy who was crying so hard that he was deafening heaven and earth, but no one had mercy on him. Although everyone heard him cry, they did not pay attention to him and left him alone and abandoned.
A thought came to my mind: "Who knows, maybe it's Jesus." But I wasn't sure. Coming near the child, I said, "What is the reason for your crying, beautiful child?
Since all of you have left you abandoned to your tears and the sufferings that oppress you and make you cry so hard, do you want to come with me?
But who could have calmed him down?
He could hardly answer yes through his tears.
He wanted to come. I took him by the hand to bring him with me. But, at that very moment, I found myself in my body.
This morning, as I continued in the same state, I saw my adorable Jesus in my heart. He was sleeping.
His sleep caused my soul to fall asleep like him, so well
that I felt all my internal powers numb and
that there was nothing else I could do.
Sometimes I tried not to sleep, but I couldn't. Blessed Jesus woke up and sent his breath into me three times. These breaths seemed completely absorbed in me.
Then it seemed that Jesus brought these same three breaths back into himself.
So I felt completely transformed in him. Who could say what happened to me next?
Oh! The inseparable union between Jesus and me! I don't have the words to express it. After that, it seemed to me that I could wake up.
Breaking the silence, Jesus said to me:
"My daughter, I looked and looked; I searched and searched, traveling the whole world.
Then I brought my Eyes to you, I found my satisfaction in you and I chose you from a thousand. »
Then, turning to some of the people He saw, He said to them:
"The lack of respect for others is a lack of true Christian humility and meekness.
Because a humble and tender mind knows how to respect everyone and
-always interpret positively the actions of others."
Having said this, He disappeared without me being able to say a single word to Him.
May my beloved Jesus always be blessed! May everything be for his glory!
My adorable Jesus continued not to let himself be seen clearly.
This morning, after I had received Holy Communion, the confessor offered me the crucifixion. While I was in these sufferings, Jesus blessed,
as attracted to them, showed himself clearly.
O God! Who could say the suffering he endured and the painful state
in which he was while he was forced to send punishments to earth.
I felt great compassion for him. If people had seen that!
Even if their hearts had been hard as diamond, they would have broken like fragile glass.
I begged him to calm down, to be happy,
and to make me suffer so that people are spared.
Then I told him:
"Lord, if you don't want to listen to my prayers, I know that's what I deserve.
If you don't want to feel sorry for people, you're right, because our iniquities are very great. But I ask you a favor: that you have pity while you punish your images.
By the Love you have for yourself, I ask you not to send punishments right now.
You take away your children's bread and make them die! Oh no! It is not in the nature of your Heart to act in this way!
I see that the suffering you feel is such that if it were in her power, she would give you death! »
All afflicted, He said to me:
"My daughter, it is Justice that does violence to me.
However, the Love I have for the human race makes me even more violent. Thus, to have to punish creatures plunges my Heart into mortal anguish."
I said to her, "Lord, discharge your Righteousness upon me and your Love will no longer be gripped by it. I beg you, let me suffer and spare them, at least in part!"
As if he had felt compelled by my prayer, he came near my mouth and poured in from his own some of the thick, disgusting bitterness he was carrying.
Barely swallowed, it produced such suffering in me that I felt close to death. Blessed Jesus supported me in my suffering, otherwise I would have died.
However, it was only a little of His bitterness that He poured out.
What would have become of his adorable Heart that contained so much!
Afterwards, he sighed as if he had been relieved of a weight and He said to me:
"My daughter, my Justice had decided to destroy all the food of men. But, now,
seeing that out of love you have taken upon yourself a little of my bitterness,
it agrees to leave the third party.
Oh! Lord! It's very little, I told him. Leave at least half of it. No, my daughter, be happy.
My Lord
if you don't want to make me happy for everything,
make me at least happy for Corato and for those who belong to me.
Today, the hail that was supposed to cause great damage is prepared. While you are in the sufferings of the cross,
-go to this place out of your body in the form of a crucified and
-puts the demons above Corato on the run,
for they will not be able to bear the sight of a crucified person and they will go elsewhere."
Thus, I went out of my body in the form of a crucified woman and saw the hail and lightning that was about to begin to fall over Corato.
Who can say
-the fear of demons at the sight of my crucified form,
-how they fled,
-how in their rage they bit their fingers.
Since they couldn't blame me,
they went so far as to attack my confessor who,
-this morning, had granted me permission to suffer the crucifixion.
They were forced to flee from me before the sign of Redemption.
After they fled, I returned to my body,
-remaining with a good dose of suffering. May everything be for the glory of God!
My sufferings formed a sweet chain Elles
bound me to my sweet Jesus,
brought him in almost continuously and
stimulated him to pour me further bitterness.
When He came,
-He took me in his arms to give me strength and
"He poured into me other bitterness.
I said to him:
"Lord, as you pour out some of your suffering in me, I pray to you.
-to make me happy and
-to grant me what I have already asked you, that is to say
that humans receive at least half of the food
-which they need to feed themselves (cf. text of 3 June, page 67).'
He said to me:
"My daughter, to please you,
I give you the keys of Justice
with the knowledge of what is absolutely necessary to punish the human race.
With this, you will do what you want. So, aren't you happy?" Hearing this, I was consoled and said to myself:
"If it's up to me, I won't punish anyone."
But what was not my disenchantment when Jesus blessed
-gave me a key and
-placed me in the center of a light
from where I live all the attributes of God, including that of Righteousness.
Oh! How ordered everything is in God!
-If Justice punishes, it is in the order of things.
-If it did not punish, it would not be in harmony with the other divine attributes.
I saw myself as a miserable worm in the center of this light. I saw that, if I wanted to, I could counter the course of Justice.
But then I would destroy the order and go against the man himself. For even Justice is pure Love towards men.
Thus, I found myself totally confused and embarrassed. To free myself, I say to Our Lord:
"In this light, I understand things differently. If you let me do it, I will do worse than you.
As a result, I do not accept the keys to Justice.
What I accept and I want is for you to make me suffer and spare people. I don't want to know anything about the rest!"
Smiling at what I had just said, Jesus added:
"You want to free yourself from the keys of Justice.
But you do even more violence to me by leaving me with these words: let me suffer and spare them!"
I replied, "Lord, it's not that I don't want to be reasonable. It is because it is not my job, but yours; mine is to be a victim.
Therefore, do your job and I will do mine. Isn't that right, my dear Jesus?"
Showing me his agreement, he disappeared.
It seems to me that my adorable Jesus continues to apply his righteousness by pouring some of his punishments on me and the rest on people.
This morning, when I found myself with Jesus, my soul was torn apart.
-seeing the torture that his very sweet Heart felt
-when he punished the creatures!
His state of suffering was so great that he couldn't help but moan continuously.
He wore on his divine Head a cruel crown of thorns that pierced his Flesh to such depth that his Head appeared to be only a mass of thorns.
So, to relieve him, I said to him:
"Tell me, my God, what is happening to you? Allow me to remove those thorns that make you suffer so much!"
But Jesus answered nothing. He didn't even listen to what I was saying.
So I began to remove his thorns one by one, and then the crown itself which I placed on my head. While I was doing this, I saw that in a remote place there was an earthquake that was destroying people.
Then Jesus disappeared and I returned to my body, but with great affliction at the thought of Jesus' state of suffering and the disasters that affected poor humanity.
This morning, when my kind Jesus came, I said to him, "Lord what are you doing? It seems to me that you are going too hard with your Justice."
As I wanted to continue to speak to excuse human misery, Jesus imposed silence on me by telling me:
"Keep silent if you want me to stay with you!
Come, embrace me, and honor all my suffering Members with your usual acts of worship."
I started with his Head and then, one by one, I passed to each of his other Members. Oh! How many deep and horrible wounds covered his most holy Body!
No sooner had I finished than he disappeared, leaving me
-with very little suffering and
-with the fear that he was going to pour out his bitterness on the people, this bitterness that he had not had the kindness to pour out on me.
After some time, the confessor came and I told him what I had just experienced.
He said to me:
"Today, when you do your meditation,
You will ask him to make you suffer the crucifixion so that he stops sending punishments."
During my meditation,
Jesus appeared to me and I begged him to do as my confessor had proposed. Without giving me the slightest attention,
He seemed to turn his back on me and fall asleep so that I wouldn't bother him.
I felt myself dying in pain because He was not following through on my confessor's request.
Picking up my courage, I took him by the arm to wake him up and said:
"Lord, what are you doing? Is this all the respect you have for your favorite virtue of obedience? Where is all the praise you have said for this virtue?
Where are the honors you have bestowed on him, to the point of saying
that you are shaken by it,
that you cannot resist him and
that you feel captivated by the soul that practices it.
And now it seems like you don't care about her anymore?"
As I said this (and many other things that would take a long time if I wanted to write them down), Blessed Jesus was shaken as if in very sharp pain.
He let out a cry and, sobbing, said to me:
"I don't want to send punishments either. But it is Justice that forces me to do so.
However, you, by your words, sting me to the quick.
You touch a very delicate thing for me, something that I love very much, to the point that I did not want any other honor or title than that of obedience.
So just because I don't care about obedience doesn't mean I don't make you share the sufferings of the Cross, it's Justice that forces me to do this."
After He said this, He disappeared
-leaving me happy,
-but with displeasure in my soul,
as if my words had been the cause of the Lord's cry! Deign to forgive me, O my Jesus!
I was in a lot of pain.
When He came, my adorable Jesus sympathized very much with me and Said to me:
"My daughter, why are you suffering so much? Let me comfort you a little." However, He was suffering more than I was!
He fucked my soul and pulled me out of my body.
He took my hands in his, placed my feet on his and my head against his. How happy I was to be in this position! Even if Jesus' nails and thorns gave me suffering, I would have liked it to increase. They gave me joy.
Jesus also seemed happy because, in this way, he kept me close to him.
It seems to me that he relieved me and that I was a comfort to him. In this position, we went out.
Having met the confessor, I immediately prayed for him and told the Lord to be good enough to make him taste the sweetness of his Voice.
To please me, Jesus turned to him and spoke to him of the cross, saying:
"Through the cross, my Divinity is absorbed into the soul.
The cross makes her look like my Humanity and copies in her my Works."
Then we walked around the area. Oh! So many heartbreaking shows we have seen.
My soul was pierced from side to side!
We have seen the grave iniquities of men,
they who do not even conform to Justice. On the contrary, they launch themselves against her with fury,
-as if they wanted to be hurt twice as much.
And we have seen the great misery towards which they are heading.
Then, in great sorrow, we withdrew. Jesus disappeared and I reintegrated my body.
This morning, blessed Jesus did not come. I felt anxious about it.
When he came, he said to me, "My daughter, to act in God and to remain in peace is the same thing.
If you are affected by any disorder,
-it is the sign that you have distanced yourself somewhat from God,
-because to move in him and not to have a perfect peace is impossible. In God, everything is peace."
Then He added:
"Don't you know that deprivations are to the soul what winter is to plants:
during the winter their roots sink deeper and
I strengthen them so that they can bloom in May."
He then carried me out of my body and I presented him with several requests. Then He disappeared.
I returned to my body,
-inhabited by a great desire to always be perfectly united to him
-that I may always dwell in His Peace.
As Jesus persisted in not coming, I tried to meditate on the mystery of flogging. While I was doing it, he was very hurt and bloodied. As soon as I saw him, he said to me, "My daughter, Heaven and the created world demonstrate the Love of God. My Wounded Body demonstrates my Love for men.
My divine nature and my human nature are inseparable and form one person. Through them, I have not only satisfied divine justice, but I have also worked for the salvation of men.
And, in order to summon everyone to love God and neighbor, not only have I myself set an example on this point, but I have made it a divine precept. My Wounds and My Blood teach everyone the way of love and the duty for all to be concerned about the salvation of others."
Then, saddenedly, He added, "Love is for me a ruthless tyrant!
To satisfy him,
-not only have I lived all my mortal life in continual sacrifices, until I died on the Cross,
-but I gave myself as a perpetual Victim in the sacrament of the Eucharist.
In addition, I have called upon some of my beloved children, including yourself,
-to be victims in continual suffering for the salvation of mankind.
Oh, yes! My Heart finds neither peace nor rest if it does not surrender itself to men!
However, the man answers me with extreme ingratitude! Having said that, He disappeared.
This morning, when I was out of my body and not with my greatest Good, I went in search of him.
I was about to faint from fatigue when I felt it behind my back. He was holding me back.
I pulled him in front of me and told him:
"My Beloved, don't you know that I cannot live without you?
And you make me wait until I faint! Tell me at least why? In what way have I offended you that I may be subjected to such cruel torture, to such painful martyrdom?"
Interrupting Me, Jesus said to me:
"My daughter, my daughter, does not increase the torture of my Heart.
It is extreme, in a constant struggle, because many rape me non-stop.
The iniquities of men make me violent by provoking my Justice. They force me to punish them.
And, by the fact that my Justice hurts my Love for men, my Heart is torn in such a painful way that I feel myself dying.
"You also do violence to me every time you, having learned of the punishments I give, you force me not to give them.
Knowing that you cannot do otherwise in my presence and in order not to expose my Heart to greater struggles, I refrain from coming.
Renounce to rape myself so that I come: let me give free rein to my fury and stop aggravating my suffering by your interventions.
As for the rest,
know that the most sublime humility requires
-to flee from any reasoning and
-to be damaged in its nothingness.
If we do so, then, without realizing it, we blend into God.
This brings
-the most intimate union between the soul and God,
-the most perfect love for God and
-the greatest advantage for the soul,
Because, by leaving one's own reason, one acquires divine Reason.
By renouncing all gaze on itself, the soul is not interested in what happens to it.
And it achieves a completely heavenly and divine language.
Humility gives the soul a safety garment.
Wrapped in this garment, the soul dwells in the deepest peace, adorned to please his beloved Jesus."
Who could say how surprised I was by these words of Jesus. I didn't know what to tell him.
He disappeared and I found myself in my body, calm yes, but extremely distressed.
First of all because of the afflictions and struggles in which my dear Jesus was immersed.
And also because I was afraid that he would now refuse to come. Who could endure this?
"O Lord! Give me the strength to endure this unbearable martyrdom. As for the rest, say whatever you want.
I will not neglect any means, I will use all the tricks for you to come."
After I had gone through a few days of deprivation,
He showed himself as a shadow, at lightning speed.
And I found myself numb, as if asleep, not understanding what was happening to me.
Immersed in this lethargy, only one suffering reached me: it seemed to me that the same thing was happening to me as to him,
that is, I was deprived of all my means. The person immersed in this state cannot
-nor complain,
-nor defend oneself,
-nor to appeal to any means whatsoever to free oneself from one's misfortune. Poor her! She's sleeping!
If she were awake, she would certainly know how to defend herself against her misfortune.
Such was my miserable state!
I was not allowed to moan, to sigh, to shed a single tear, even though I had lost sight of my Jesus,
-he who is all my love, all my happiness, my greatest Good.
In other words
so that I would not be hurt by His absence, He rocked me to fall asleep and Left me.
"O Lord, wake me up
so that I can see my miseries and at least know what I lack."
And, while I was in this state, I heard inside me Blessed Jesus: He groaned non-stop.
His moans hurt my ears.
Waking up a little, I said to him:
"My one and only Good, through your complaints, I have perceived the very suffering state in which you are.
It happens to you because
-that you want to suffer alone and
-let you not let me share your sufferings!
On the contrary, you rocked me to sleep without letting me understand anything. I understand where all this comes from: your Justice is thus freer to punish.
"But oh! Have mercy on me, because without you I am blind. You who are so good, you need to have someone
-who keeps you company,
-who comforts you,
-which, in some way, lessens your anger.
When you see your images perish in misery,
maybe you will complain more and tell me:
"Oh!
If you had been more diligent in comforting me,
if you had taken upon yourself the sufferings of my creatures, I would not see my Members so tortured."
Isn't that true, my very patient Jesus?
Out of pity, react a little and let me suffer in your place!"
While I was saying this,
He groaned continuously, as if He wanted pity and comfort. But I, wanting to relieve him by sharing his sufferings,
I shot him, as if to force him.
Thus, following my fervent prayers,
He stretched out his nailed Hands and Feet in my interior and shared with me some of his sufferings.
Afterwards, pausing in his moans, He said to me:
"My daughter, the sad times we are living in force me to do this.
Because men have become so arrogant that everyone thinks they are God.
If I do not send punishments upon them, I will harm their souls, because the cross alone is nourishment for humility.
If I don't do this, I will eventually make them miss the means.
-to become humble and
-to get out of their strange madness.
I do like a father who shares bread so that all his children feed themselves.
But a few do not want this bread. On the contrary, they reject it in their father's face.
However, this is not the fault of the poor father! I am like that. Have mercy on me in my afflictions."
Having thus spoken, He disappeared, leaving me half asleep, not knowing
-if I had to wake up completely or
-if I still had to sleep.
Jesus continued to keep me asleep.
This morning, for a few minutes, I found myself completely awake; I understood my miserable state
and I felt the bitterness of the deprivation of my greatest Good.
I shed a few tears when I told him:
My always good Jesus, why don't you come?
These are not things to do: hurt one of your souls and then leave it! Then, in order not to let her know what you're doing, you plunge her into sleep! Oh! Come, don't make me wait any longer."
While I was saying this and many other similar idiocies, he came and dragged me out of my body.
When I wanted to tell Him my poor state, He imposed silence on me and said to me:
"My daughter, what I want from you is that you recognize yourself in me, not in yourself.
Thus, you will no longer remember yourself, but Me alone. Ignoring yourself, you will recognize only Me.
To the extent that you forget yourself and destroy yourself, you will advance in my knowledge,
you will recognize yourself only in Me.
When you do so,
you will no longer think with your brain, but with mine. thou shalt no longer look with thy eyes,
thou shalt no longer speak with your mouth, the beating of your heart will no longer be yours,
you will no longer work with your hands, you will no longer walk with your feet.
you will look with my Eyes, you will speak with my Mouth,
your heartbeat will be mine, you will work with my Hands,
you will walk with my Feet.
And for this to happen,
-that is to say, the soul recognizes itself only in God,
it must return to its origins, that is, to God, from whom it comes. It must conform fully to its Creator;
It must be destroyed
everything that it holds of itself and that is not in conformity with its origins,
Only in this way, naked and stripped, she will be able to
-return to its origins,
-recognize oneself only in God and
-work in accordance with the purpose for which it was created.
To fully conform to Me, the soul must become invisible as Me."
While He was saying this, I saw the terrible punishment of parched plants and how it must go even further. I could barely tell him:
"O Lord! what will the poor people do!"
And he, in order not to pay attention to me, disappeared at lightning speed.
Who could say what was the bitterness of my soul to find myself in my body
without being able to say a single word to him
-concerning me or
-concerning my neighbor, or
-about my tendency to sleep, with which I was still struggling!
This morning I was extremely distressed because of the deprivation of my dear Jesus.
As soon as I saw Him, He said to me:
"My daughter, how many disguises will be unmasked in these times of punishment.
For the present punishments are only an omen of those I showed you last year."
As He said this, I was thinking about myself:
"Who knows if the Lord will continue to do what He does: While He suffers a lot by punishing,
-He does not come to share his sufferings with me and
-He treats me in an unusual way.
Who could endure this? Who will give me the strength to experience this?"
Replying to my thought, Jesus said to me pitifully:
"Would you like Me to suspend your victim status and make you resume it later?"
At these words, I experienced great confusion and bitterness.
I saw that by carrying out this proposal the Lord would distance me from Him.
I didn't know what to do: accept or refuse. I would have liked to have consulted my confessor.
Anyway, without waiting for my answer, Jesus disappeared.
He left me with a sword in my heart, that of feeling rejected by him. My pain was so great that I couldn't do anything but cry bitterly.
As I continued to be sad, my adorable Jesus took pity on me: He came and he seemed to support me with his arms. I
He dragged me out of my body, and together we saw that there was deep silence, great sadness, and mourning everywhere.
This spectacle made such a great impression on my soul that my heart became anguished.
Jesus said to me, "My daughter, let us leave what afflicts us and rest together."
As he said this, he began to caress me and comfort me with gentle kisses. However, my confusion was so great that I did not dare to reciprocate.
He said to me, "As I refresh you with chaste kisses and caresses, don't you want to refresh me by giving me kisses and caresses too?"
These words gave me confidence and I reciprocated. Then he disappeared.
I continued to be distressed and sad like a stupid being.
This morning, Jesus did not come at all. The confessor came and suggested the crucifixion.
In the first place, Blessed Jesus disagreed. When He showed Himself to me, He said to me:
"What do you want?" Why do you want to hurt me by forcing me to crucify you?
I have already told you that it is necessary for Me to punish the people!"
I replied, "Lord, it is not me; it is out of obedience that I make this request."
He continued, "Since it is out of obedience, I want you to share my crucifixion. During this time, I will rest a little."
And He made me share with the sufferings of the Cross.
While I was suffering, He came near me and seemed to rest.
Then I saw a menacing cloud whose mere sight inspired fear. Everyone said, "This time we are going to die!"
While everyone was frightened, a radiant cross rose between Jesus and me.
She made the storm disappear
(it seemed that it was a hurricane accompanied by thunder that swept away buildings).
The cross that made the storm flee seemed to me to be the little suffering that Jesus shared with me. May the Lord be blessed and may everything be for His honor and glory.
This morning, after receiving Holy Communion, I saw my adorable Jesus and I said to him:
"My beloved Lord, why don't you want to be appeased?"
Interrupting my words, He said:
"Yet the punishments I send are nothing compared to those that are prepared."
While He was saying this, I saw in front of me many people infected with a sudden and contagious disease from which they were dying (the Spanish flu).
Seized with terror, I say to Jesus:
"Lord, would you like this for us too? What do you do? If you want to do this, pull me out of this earth.
For my soul cannot stay to see such painful things. Who will give me the strength to be in this state?"
As I gave free rein to my affliction, having mercy on me, Jesus said to me:
My daughter, do not be afraid of your state of drowsiness. This means that even though I am with the people,
it is as if I was sleeping,
as if I didn't see and hear them. And I have put you in the same state as Me.
For the rest, if you don't like it, I've already told you: do you want me to suspend your victim status?"
I replied, "Lord, obedience does not want me to accept suspension."
He resumed, "Well, then, what do you want from Me? Be silent and obey! »
Who could say how distressed I was and how numb my internal powers seemed to me?
I lived as if I wasn't living.
"O Lord, have mercy on me! Don't leave me in such a pitiful state!"
The same state continued. It was even getting worse.
If sometimes Jesus showed himself as a shadow, with the speed of lightning, it was almost always in silence.
This morning I was at the height of my affliction because of my continual sleep.
He showed up and said to me:
"The soul that is truly mine must not only live for God, but in God.
You must try to live in me because,
in me you will find the fountain of all virtues.
By keeping yourself in the midst of the virtues, you will be nourished by their perfume, so well
-that you will be filled as after a good meal and
-that you will do nothing but release a heavenly light and fragrance.
Establishing one's residence in me is the true virtue
who has the power to give the soul the form of the divine Being."
After these words, He disappeared.
Leaving my body, my soul went after him. But he had already run away and I could not find him.
Suddenly, I was filled with bitterness when I saw
-terrible hail causing great destruction,
-lightning producing fires and other things that had been prepared.
Then, more distressed than ever, I reintegrated my body.
As I continued in the same confusion, Blessed Jesus showed Himself briefly.
He made me understand that I had not written everything he had told me the day before about the difference between living for God and living in God. He returned to the same subject, saying:
*By living for God, the soul can
-be subject to disturbances and bitterness,
-be unstable,
-feel the gravity of his passions and the interferences of earthly things.
For the soul that lives in God, it is completely different. As she lives in another person,
she leaves her own thoughts to marry those of the other.
-It marries his style, his tastes and, even more,
-she leaves her own will to take that of the other.
For a soul to live in the Divinity, it must
-leave everything that belongs to him in his own right,
-deprive yourself of everything and
-leave one's own passions.
In a word, to abandon everything to find everything in God.
When the soul has grown a lot in lightness,
she is able to enter through the narrow door of my Heart
to live in me of my very Life.
Even though my Heart is very big, such that it has no limit, its front door is very narrow. Only the one who is stripped of everything can enter it.
This is just because I am the Most Holy.
I would not allow anyone who would be a stranger to my Holiness to live in me.
That is why, my daughter, I say to you: try to live in me and you will possess the anticipated paradise."
Who could say how much I understood the meaning of this "living in God"? Then it disappeared and I found myself in the same state as before.
This morning, after receiving Holy Communion, I continued in the same state of confusion. I was completely withdrawn into myself when I saw my adorable Jesus coming to me in a hurry.
He said to me, "My daughter, let me lessen my anger a little, otherwise... »
Frightened, I said to him, "What do you want me to do to lessen your anger?" He replied, "Calling upon you my sufferings."
So I had the impression that he called the confessor with the help of a ray of
light.
He immediately manifested the will that I suffer the crucifixion.
The blessed Lord agreed and I found myself in such great suffering that I felt that my soul was going to leave my body.
When I felt like I was about to die and was rejoicing because Jesus was going to receive my soul, the confessor said, "Enough!"
Then Jesus said to me, "Obedience calls you!"
I said, "Lord, I really want to continue."
Jesus said, "What do you want from me? Obedience continues to call you!"
It seemed that this new intervention of my confessor no longer made me walk towards suffering. Obedience proved cruel to me, for just as I thought I had reached port, I was pushed back to continue sailing.
Indeed, although I was suffering, I did not feel that I was going to die.
My good Lord said to me:
"My daughter, today my anger had reached its limits, so much so that not only would I have destroyed the plants, but also the human race itself.
If you hadn't lessened my anger, this is what would have happened.
And if the confessor himself had not intervened by reminding you of my sufferings,
I wouldn't even have had a look for him.
It is true that punishments are necessary, but it is also necessary, when my fury increases too much, that someone appeases him.
Otherwise, I would send a lot of punishments!"
Then it seemed to me to see Jesus very tired complaining, saying:
"My children, my poor children, how impoverished I see you!"
Then, to my surprise, he made me understand that after calming down a little, he had to continue with the punishments.
My suffering had served only to prevent him from getting too angry with the people.
O Lord, be appeased and have mercy on those you call "your children".
It seems to me that I spent several days in the company of Blessed Jesus.
-without my being being being absorbed by the lethargy of sleep,
-while we gave each other comfort.
However, I was afraid that he would plunge me back into that sleep!
This morning, after he had refreshed me with milk coming down from his mouth and pouring into me, I comforted him by removing his crown of thorns to
fix it on my head.
Very distressed, he said to me: "My daughter, the decree of punishments is signed.
The only thing left to do is to set the time for execution."
This morning my adorable Jesus did not come.
However, after a long wait, he came and told me:
"My daughter, the best thing is to trust me since I am peace. Even if I plan to send punishments, you must remain at peace, without the slightest trouble. -
Ah! Lord, you always come back to them, the punishments.
Be appeased once and for all and no longer speak of punishments, for I cannot submit to your Will in this regard!" -
I cannot be appeased!" jesus resumed.
What would you say if you saw a naked person who, instead of covering his nudity, was preoccupied with adorning himself with jewels, omitting to cover himself? -
It would be horrible to see her that way and, certainly, I would find her blameworthy. - Good! Such are the souls. Stripped of everything, they no longer have the virtues to cover themselves.
That is why it is necessary
-to hit them,
-whip them,
-to subject them to deprivation -
to bring them into themselves and bring them to take care of their nudity.
Covering one's soul with the garments of virtues and grace is
-immensely more necessary
-than to cover his body with clothes.
If I didn't experience these souls, it would mean
-that I would pay more attention to the vetilles that are the things concerning the body and
-that I would not pay attention to the most essential things, those concerning the soul."
Then he seemed to hold a small rope in his hands with which he tied my neck.
He also attached his Will to this rope.
He did the same for my heart and my hands.
Thus, it seemed that he attached me entirely to his Will. Then he disappeared.
After receiving Holy Communion, I did not see Jesus blessed as usual.
After waiting for it for a long time, I felt that I was leaving my body. So I found it. He immediately said to me:
"My daughter, I was waiting for you so that I could rest a little in you, because I can't hold on any longer! Oh! Give me comfort!"
Immediately, I took him in my arms to please him.
I saw that he had a deep wound on his shoulder that aroused pity and even disgust.
He rested for a few minutes. I then saw that his wound was healed.
Then, between wonder and surprise, seeing him relieved, I took my courage with both hands and said to him:
"Blessed Lord, my poor heart is tormented by the fear that you will no longer love me.
I am very afraid that your indignation will fall on me.
You don't come like you used to and you don't share your bitterness with me anymore. You no longer give me what is good for me: suffering.
By depriving me of suffering, you even come to deprive me of yourself. Oh! Give peace to my poor heart.
Reassure me, tell me that you love me, promise me that you will continue to love me? -
Yes, yes, I really love you! -
How can I be sure? If you really love a person, you have to give them everything they want!
I tell you, "Don't punish people!" and you punish them.
Or "pour your bitterness into me" and you don't.
I think this time you're going too far. How, then, can I be sure that you love me?
My daughter, you see the punishments I send but you don't see the ones I remember.
How many more punishments I would have sent and how much blood I would have shed had it not been for the few people who love me and whom I love with special love! »
After that, it seemed to me that Jesus had gone to the place where the destruction of human flesh was taking place. But I, who wanted to follow him, did not have permission and, to my greatest regret, found myself in my body.
I was in my usual state.
When I saw my adorable Jesus, I saw at the same time many people who were committing many sins.
I became very distressed by it.
These sins took my direction to come and hurt my beloved Lord who was in my heart.
When Jesus repelled these sins,
-they returned to the people from whom they came and
-they created many ruins, enough to horrify the hardest hearts.
Totally distressed, Jesus said to me: "My daughter, see where man's blindness leads him. While he's trying to hurt me, he's hurting himself."
This morning, after I had been waiting for my adorable Jesus all night and much of the morning, he was not kind enough to come.
Tired of waiting for him and in a moment of impatience, I set out to leave my usual state while thinking that this was not God's Will.
As I tried to get out of my body, my tender Jesus, barely letting himself be seen, entered my heart and looked at me in silence.
In the impatience that inhabited me, I said to him: "My good Jesus, why are you so cruel?
Can we be more cruel than leaving a soul at the mercy of the cruel tyrant of love who keeps it in constant agony?
Oh! You have changed: from the lover you were, you have become a tyrant!"
As I was saying this, I saw in front of me many mutilated people. I said, "Oh! Lord! What mutilated human flesh! So much bitterness and suffering!
Oh! Wouldn't there be less suffering if I had satisfied for these people in my own body! Isn't it a lesser evil to make one person suffer instead of so many poor people!"
As I said this, Jesus continued to look at me tightly. I can't say if he was happy or unhappy.
He said to me: «
And yet, this is only the beginning of the game, it's nothing compared to what's coming!"
Then he disappeared, leaving me in a sea of bitterness.
After spending a day absorbed in sleep to the point that I no longer understood myself and after receiving Holy Communion, I felt that I was coming out of my body.
Not having found my one and only Good, I began to wander as if in delirium.
While I was doing it, I felt a person in my arms.
She was so completely covered that I couldn't see who she was. Unable to resist, I tore the blanket and saw my All so ardently and long desired.
Seeing him, I began to spread complaints and various idiocies.
But, to diminish my impatience and delirium, Jesus fucked the wretched creature that I am. This divine kiss brought peace back to me.
He reduced my impatience to the point that I didn't know what to say.
Forgetting all my miseries, I then remembered the poor creatures and said to Jesus:
"Be soothed, O sweet Lord!
Spare these people from such cruel destruction!
Let's go together to those regions where these things happen so that
we may encourage and console all these Christians in such a sad state.
My daughter, Jesus replied, "I do not want to bring you because your heart would not bear the sight of such carnage. -
Ah! Lord! How can you allow that?"
It is absolutely necessary that I clean these areas
because, in those fields where I have sown,
it grew a lot of weeds and thorns that became trees.
And these thorny trees only attract poisoned and pestiferous waters to these places. If some ears have remained intact,
they receive only bites and stench,
in such a way that no other cob can bloom.
These cobs cannot bloom because
-first, the soil is covered with all kinds of bad plants and,
-secondly, they receive continual bites that leave them no peace.
Where from
-the need for destruction to reveal all bad plants and
-also the need for spilled blood to purify these fields of their poisoned waters.
For this reason, I did not want to bring you. Cleaning is necessary,
not only in places where I have already sent punishments,
but also in all other places."
Who could describe the dismay of my heart when I heard these words of Jesus!
Nevertheless, I insisted on going to see these fields. But, not paying attention to me, Jesus disappeared.
Trying to find him, I met my guardian angel and some souls from purgatory who made me turn back,
which forced me to reintegrate my body.
This morning, my adorable Jesus came and showed me a machine in which it seemed that many human limbs were crushed.
We were there as two witnesses to the terrifying punishments to come. Who could say the dismay of my heart at this sight?
Seeing me so dismayed, Blessed Jesus said to me:
"My daughter, let's get away from what afflicts us so much and comfort ourselves by playing a little together."
Who could say what happened then between Jesus and me:
-exquisite marks of love, tricks, sweet kisses,
-the caresses we gave to each other.
My beloved Jesus surpassed me in this game
for, for on my side, I failed, unable to contain all that he gave me.
I said to him, "My Beloved, enough, enough! I can't take it anymore! I'm failing!
My poor heart is not big enough to receive so much! That's enough for now!" Wanting to rebuke me for my words the other day, he said to me kindly:
"Let me hear your complaints; tell me: am I cruel? Has my Love for you turned into cruelty?"
Blushing, I said to him:
"No, my Lord, you are not cruel when you come. But when you don't come, then you're cruel!"
Smiling, He replied:
"You keep saying I'm cruel when I don't come?
No, no, there can be no cruelty in me. Everything is Love in me. Know that if my behavior is cruel, as you say,
it is in fact the expression of a greater Love."
I found myself very worried about my miserable condition, thinking that it did not correspond to God's Will.
I considered as signs of this
-the insufficient suffering that Jesus gave me and
-my continual deprivation of him.
While I was tiring my little brain about this state of affairs and struggling to get out of it, my ever-amiable Jesus showed himself at lightning speed and He said to me:
"My daughter, what do you want me to do? Tell me. I'll do what you want."
I only knew how to respond to such an unexpected proposal. I experienced great confusion at the fact.
-that blessed Jesus wanted to do what I wanted
-while it was rather me who had to do what he wanted. I remained silent.
As I said nothing, he walked away like lightning.
Running behind this light, I found myself out of my body. But I didn't find it and I went to earth, to the heavens, to the stars.
At one point I called him by my words, at the other by a song, thinking in myself that blessed Jesus would be touched to hear my voice or my song and that, certainly, he would show himself.
While I was walking,
I saw the terrible destruction caused by the war in China.
There were demolished churches and images of Our Lord thrown on the ground.
What scared me the most was that
-if the barbarians are doing this now,
-the religious hypocrites will do it later.
Making themselves known as they are and uniting with the open enemies of the Church, they carry out an attack that seems incredible to the human spirit.
Oh! What torture! It seems that they have vowed to end the Church. But the Lord will destroy them!
Then I found myself in a garden that seemed to me to be the Church.
Inside this garden, there were a crowd of people under the guises
of dragons,
vipers and
other ferocious beasts. They were devastating the garden.
When they went out, they caused the ruin of the people.
As I saw this, I found myself in the arms of my beloved Jesus and said, "I have finally found you! Are you my dear Jesus?"
He replied, "Yes, yes, I am your Jesus."
I tried to ask him to spare all these people, but he, not paying attention to me, said to me all distressed:
"My daughter, I'm very tired.
Let us go into the divine Will if you want me to stay with you."
Afraid that he might walk away, I kept silent, allowing him to sleep. A little later, he entered me again, leaving me encouraged but very distressed.
I spent a day and a night without rest.
Then I felt that I was leaving my body, but I could not find my adorable Jesus. I only saw things that scared me.
I saw that one fire was burning in Italy and another in China and that, little by little, these fires were getting closer to merge into one.
In this fire, I saw the King of Italy die suddenly in disappointment. This had the effect of making the fire grow.
Finally, I saw a great revolution, an uproar of the peoples, a killing of the peoples.
After seeing these things, I realized that I had returned to my body. My soul was tortured because it felt like it was dying and, even more, because I didn't see my adorable Jesus.
After a long wait, he appeared with a sword in his hand, ready to slaughter him on the people. I was scared.
Having become a little bold, I took the sword in my hands and said:
"Lord, what are you doing?
Don't you see how much destruction will happen if you shoot down that sword? What causes me the most grief is that you cut Italy in half!
Ah! Lord! Be soothed! Have mercy on your images!
If you say you love me, spare me that bitter pain!"
As I said this, with all the strength I could muster, I held the sword. Jesus, sighing and all afflicted, said to me:
"My daughter, let her fall on the people because I can no longer carry her." But I, clutching her more tightly, said to her:
"I can't let her go! I don't have the courage to do that!"
Jesus said, "Have I not told you many times that I am forced not to let you see anything, since then I am not free to do what I want!"
As he said this, he lowered the arm that had held the sword and began to calm his fury. After some time, he disappeared and I was left with my fear. Then, without letting me see anything, he took the sword away from me and knocked it down on the people!
Oh! God! What a heartbreaker to just remember that!
My adorable Jesus continued to come only rarely and only for a short time.
This morning, I felt totally devastated and I almost did not dare to set out in search of my greatest Good.
But he, always kind, came and, wanting to infuse confidence in me, said to me:
My daughter
before my majesty and purity, the one who can face me does not exist. All are necessarily frightened and struck by the radiance of my holiness.
Man would almost like to run away from Me
-because his misery is so great
-because he does not have the courage to stand in the presence of God.
However
appealing to my mercy,
I have assumed a Humanity that has partially veiled the light of my Divinity.
This was a way to inspire confidence and courage in man to come to Me.
It has the possibility
-to purify oneself,
-to sanctify oneself and
-to divinize through my deified Humanity.
Thus, you must always stand before my Humanity, considering it as
-a mirror in which you wash away all your sins,
-a mirror in which you acquire beauty.
Little by little, you will adorn yourself with my resemblance.
This is the property of the physical mirror
to reveal the image of the one who stands before him.
The divine mirror does much more: my Humanity is for man like a mirror allowing him to see my Divinity.
All good things come to man through my Humanity."
As He said this, He infused such confidence in me that the thought came to me from talking to Him about punishments.
Who knows, he may listen to me.
I intended to appease him regarding everything. While I was preparing for it, he disappeared.
My soul, running after him, found itself out of my body.
But I was unable to find it and, to my greatest regret, I saw
many people in prison
as well as others preparing to attack the life of the king and other leaders.
I saw that these people were consumed by rage because they lacked the means.
to go into the midst of the people
to carry out a massacre there.
However, their time will come.
Then I found myself in my body, very oppressed and afflicted.
While I was in my usual state, I was looking for my beloved Jesus. After a long wait, He came and said to me:
"My daughter, why are you looking for me out of yourself when you could easily find me within yourself.
When you want to find me,
-enter into yourself,
-reach your nothingness and
-there, emptied of yourself, you will see
the foundations that the Divine Being has established in you and
the structure he erected there:
look and see!"
I looked
And I saw solid foundations and a construction with high walls reaching Heaven.
What surprised me the most was
-that the Lord had done this beautiful work on my nothingness, and
-that the walls had no openings.
An opening was made only in the vault: it overlooked Heaven. Through this openness, Our Lord could be seen.
I was completely dazzled by what I saw and Blessed Jesus said to me:
"The foundations established on nothingness mean
-that the hand of God works where there is nothing and
-that he never bases his work on material things.
Walls without openings mean
-that the soul must not give any regard to the things of the world
-so that no danger can reach it, not even a little dust.
The fact that the only opening overlooks Heaven
corresponds to the fact that the construction rises from nothingness to Heaven.
The stability of the column means that
the soul must be so stable in the good
that no adverse wind can shake it.
And the fact that I am placed at the very top means that the work must be completely divine."
Who could say what I understood as a result of Jesus' words? But my mind gets lost and can't express itself on it.
May the Lord always be blessed! May everything sing his Love and Glory.
This morning, my adorable Jesus did not come. I had to wait a long time for him.
As soon as He showed Himself, He said to me:
just as the sound of a musical instrument is pleasing to the ear of the person who hears it,
your desires and tears are in my ear a very pleasant music.
To make them even sweeter and more pleasant, I want to show you another way:
-do not desire me with your desire but with my Desire. Everything you want and desire,
-want it and desire it because I want it, that is,
-take it in my interior and do it yours.
Thus, your music will be more pleasant to my ear, because it will be music from myself.
He added:
"Everything that comes out of me goes into me.
When men complain that they can't get what they ask of me,
it is that they ask for things that do not come out of Me. Then
-these things are not very easy to bring into Me
-to then come out of me and come back to them.
All that is holy, pure and heavenly comes out of me and enters into Me.
Why be surprised if I don't listen to them
when they ask me for things that are not of Me?
Keep in mind that everything that comes out of God enters God. »
Who could say all that I understood as a result of jesus' words? But I don't have the words to express it.
Ah! Lord! Give me the grace to ask for all that is holy and that is according to your Desire and Will.
In this way, you will be able to communicate with me more intensely.
This morning, after I had received Holy Communion, my beloved Jesus introduced Himself.
in the attitude of someone who is about to teach.
He said to me:
"My daughter, suppose a young man wants to marry a young girl. She is in love with him and wants to make him happy,
-always wants to stay with him without ever leaving him,
-without worrying about other ha scelto, including the usual domestic work for a wife.
What would the young man say?
The love of the girl would please him but he would certainly not be happy with her conduct. Because this way of loving would be sterile and would bring him harm rather than fruit.
Little by little, this strange love would give rise to boredom rather than pleasure because all the satisfaction would be only for the girl.
And since a sterile love has no wood to feed its flame, it would quickly be reduced to ashes.
Only the love that gives fruit is hard.
"Thus behave souls who are only concerned with
of themselves,
their propria soddisfazione,
of their own ardor and
of everything they like.
They say that their love is for me while it is for their own satisfaction.
We can see from their actions that they do not care
-my interests and
-sceglies which rn' belong.
They even go so far as to offend me.
Ah! My daughter, love that bears fruit is what distinguishes true lovers from false ones.
Everything else is smoked. »
Oh! How many things with the appearance of the good grain will then be judged as straw and bad seed, only worthy of being thrown into the fire. »
This morning, my adorable Jesus did not come.
After waiting for him for a long time and while my poor heart was unable to endure any more, he showed himself in my interior and said to me:
"My daughter, do not be distressed because you do not see me: I am in you and, through you, I look at the world."
He continued to appear to me from time to time, without telling me anything more.
Having spent a restless night,
I felt all filled with temptations and sins. Oh! God! What a torturing pain it is to offend you.
I was doing everything I could
to be in God,
to resign myself to his Holy Will,
to offer him this painful state out of love for him.
I didn't pay attention to the enemy
-by showing the greatest indifference towards him,
-in order not to provoke him to tempt me more. But without much success.
I didn't even dare to desire my beloved Jesus. I saw myself as too ugly and miserable.
But he, always good for the sinner that I am, and without me having asked for it,
he came as if he had mercy on me. He said to me:
"My daughter, courage. Don't be afraid.
Do you know that some impetuous and cold streams are more powerful at cleaning the smallest stains than the fire itself? Everything is fine for those who really love me."
Having said that, he disappeared.
He left me encouraged but weak as if I had suffered from the fever.
I lived through several days of bitterness and deprivation. At most, I saw it a few times as a shadow!
This morning, not only was I at the height of my bitterness, but I had lost hope of seeing him again.
After receiving Holy Communion, it seemed to me that the confessor wanted the crucifixion to be renewed in me.
So, in order to make me obey,
Blessed Jesus appeared to me and shared His sufferings with me.
At that moment, I saw the Queen Mother who, taking me, offered me to him to appease him. Having looked at his Mother, Jesus accepted the offering and it seemed that he was a little appeased.
Then the Queen Mother said to me, "Do you want to come to purgatory and relieve the king of the horrible suffering in which he finds himself?"
(Probably Umberto de Savola, assassinated in Monza on July 29, 1900).
I replied, "My Mother, as you desire."
In an instant, she took me and transported me to a place of excruciating torment where people were suffering and dying continuously.
There was this miserable man who went from one torment to another.
He seemed to have to suffer as many deaths as there had been souls lost by his fault.
After I had undergone several of these tortures, he was a little relieved.
Then the Blessed Virgin lifted me away from this place of suffering and I found myself in my body.
Finding myself in my usual state and not seeing my adorable Jesus, I was very distressed and a little worried.
After waiting for him for a long time, he came.
Seeing that the Blood flowed from his Hands, I asked him to shed
the Blood of his Left Hand in favor of sinners who were to die and who were in danger of being lost, and
the Blood of His Right Hand in favor of the souls of purgatory.
Listening to me kindly, he was moved.
He poured his Blood on one region and then on another.
After He said to me:
"My daughter, inside souls there must be no trouble. If the disorder enters a soul, it comes from itself.
The soul carries within it many things
-who are not of God and
-which are detrimental to it.
It ends up weakening her and weakening the grace in her."
Who could say how clearly I understood the meaning of these words of Jesus.
Ah! Lord! Give me the grace to enjoy your holy teachings. Otherwise, your teachings will be for my condemnation.
Since he continued not to come, I said to him:
"My good Jesus, don't make me wait so long. This morning, I don't feel like looking for you until I'm tired. Come now, fast, fast, without making a fuss."
Seeing that he still didn't come, I continued:
"It seems that you want me to wear myself out of waiting for you, to the point of being angry. Otherwise, you don't come! »
While I was saying this and other nonsense, he came and said to me:
"Could you tell me what maintains the correspondence between the soul and God?"
With a light coming from him, I answered him: "Prayer."
Approving what I had said, He continued:
«But what brings God to a familiar conversation with the soul?"
As I only knew how to answer, a light entered me and I said:
"Oral prayer serves to maintain correspondence with God and, of course, inner meditation serves as nourishment to maintain the conversation between God and the soul."
Pleased with my answer, He resumed:
"Will you tell me what can break the love anger that can rise between God and the soul?"
As I answered nothing, he continued:
"My daughter, obedience alone to this power
Because she alone decides all things concerning the soul and me.
When a quarrel arises or even when one gets angry enough to hurt, then obedience intervenes, arranges things and restores peace between God and the soul."
I said, "Oh! Lord! Often it seems to me that even obedience does not want to take an interest in these things and that the poor soul is forced to remain in a state of dispute."
Jesus continued: "She does this for a while because she wants to have fun with these love quarrels but then she assumes her duty and pacifies everything.
Thus obedience establishes peace between the soul and God."
After communion, my adorable Jesus carried me out of my body, showing himself to be extremely distressed and sad. I begged him to pour his bitterness into me.
He did not listen to me, but after I had insisted a lot, he poured it out with joy. Then, after he had poured some, I told him:
"Lord, don't you feel better now?
Yes, but what I have poured into you is not what gives me so much suffering.
It's a bland and infected food that doesn't leave me resting." - Pour a little bit into me so that you can be comforted.
-I can't digest it and endure it, how could you?
"I know that my weakness is extreme but you will give me strength and, in this way, I will succeed in holding it in me."
I got it
-that the infected food related to acts of impurity and
-that bland food, related to good deeds done with care, without care,
and which are rather a boredom and a burden for Our Lord. He almost disdains to accept them,
Unable to endure them, he wants to spit them out of his mouth instead.
Who knows how many of mine do this!
Forced by me, he served me some of this food.
As he was right:
bitterness is more endurable than bland food and the one that is infected.
If it hadn't been for my love for him, I would never have accepted it.
After that
Blessed Jesus put his arm behind my neck and, leaning his head over my shoulder, he took a posture as if to rest.
While he was sleeping, I found myself in a place where there were many intersecting paths and, further down, it was the abyss.
Afraid of falling into it, I woke him up to ask for his help.
He said to me:
"Don't be afraid, this is the path that everyone must walk. It requires complete attention.
Since the majority walk carelessly, this is the reason
for which so many people fall into the abyss and
that those who arrive at the port of salvation are few." Then it disappeared and I found myself in my body. FIAT
http://casimir.kuczaj.free.fr/Orange/angielski.html